Tag cluster: Conceit and guilt
Part of key topic Unskillful Qualities
Includes tags: Conceit, Guilt/shame/inadequacy, Judgementalism, Perfectionism, Jealousy, Competitiveness, Selfishness, Self-pity

All excerpts (97) Most relevant (53) Questions about (29) Answers involving (46) Stories (17) Quotes (8) Texts (2)

Remembering Ajahn Chah Weekend, Session 20 – Apr. 28, 2001

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2. “Did Ajahn Chah pass his teaching style to you or do you use your own separate style?” Answered by Ajahn Sumedho and Paul Breiter. [Personality] [Ajahn Chah] [Teaching Dhamma]

Story: Ajahn Sumedho, first abbot of Wat Pah Nanachat. Told by Ajahn Sumedho. [Ajahn Sumedho] [Abbot] [Wat Pah Nanachat] [Sequence of training] [Culture/West] [Joseph Kappel] [Selfishness] [Aversion] [Suffering] [Guilt/shame/inadequacy] [Humor]

Quote: “The special thing about Luang Por Chah was that he was at ease and completely himself.” — Ajahn Sumedho [Contentment]

Response by Paul Breiter: “The elements are there, but different teachers are expressing them in a living way.”


Metta Retreat, Session 1 – Sep. 9, 2008

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5. “How would you describe the jhana states and do you teach this kind of meditation?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Jhāna] [Ajahn Pasanno] // [Concentration] [Energy] [Clear comprehension] [Knowledge and vision] [Ajahn Chah] [Relinquishment] [Craving] [Conceit]


Metta Retreat, Session 2 – Sep. 10, 2008

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6. “Please explain how to cultivate muditā. I’ve heard it described as ‘poor man’s happiness.’” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Empathetic joy] [Happiness] // [Divine Abidings] [Jealousy] [Selfishness]


Metta Retreat, Session 3 – Sep. 11, 2008

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14. “When doubt is mentioned under the hindrances, is it mainly referring to doubt about the Buddha’s teachings? Are there other implications?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Doubt] [Hindrances] [Dhamma] // [Everyday life] [Mindfulness of mind] [Investigation of states] [Mindfulness of body] [Suffering] [Perfectionism]


Metta Retreat, Session 4 – Sep. 12, 2008

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13. “Is attavādupādāna clinging to sakkāyadiṭṭhi?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Doctrine-of-self clinging] [Self-identity view] // [Fetters] [Stream entry] [Conceit] [Views]


Metta Retreat, Session 5 – Sep. 13, 2008

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3. “Reflecting on your 35 years in robes, do you have any strong lessons that stand out?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Ajahn Pasanno] [Christianity] [Monastic life] [Long-term practice] [Discernment] // [Patience] [Ajahn Chah] [Virtue] [Meditation retreats]

Quote: “Oftentimes we don’t really recognize the goodness that we’re doing.” [Perfectionism] [Judgementalism]

Quote: “Patience isn’t just enduring. It’s being able to be present with experience.” [Direct experience] [Present moment awareness]


Tudong Stories at Spirit Rock, Session 2 – Jun. 2, 2011

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3. Comment: Living on faith increases your potential anxiety level. I came to Buddhism thinking this would settle my life, but I realize that being open, aware, and sensitive to the world keeps bringing me new challenges. [Faith] [Restlessness and worry] [Everyday life] [Conscience and prudence] [Tudong]

Sutta: Dhp 244-245: Life is easy for for one without shame. [Conceit] [Virtue]

Response by Ajahn Pasanno: “You get more than what you bargained for.” [Happiness] [Culture/West] [Communal harmony] [Trust] [Concentration] [Ardency] [Energy] [Discernment] [Guilt/shame/inadequacy] [Right Effort]

Sutta: AN 11.1: Virtue leads to non-remorse and samādhi.


The Whole of the Path, Session 1 – Jun. 22, 2013

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2. Comment: It’s not so easy to let go of people who have been in my life forever to cultivate new friendships. [Relinquishment] [Spiritual friendship]

Response by Ajahn Pasanno. [Judgementalism] [Virtue] [Ajahn Pasanno] [Views]


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4. “If my sister has unwholesome friendships, how can I help her redirect these?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Family] [Spiritual friendship] // [Compassion] [Judgementalism] [Right Intention] [Right Speech] [Admonishment/feedback]

Story: An Abhayagiri monk skillfully conveys concerns to his father. [Abhayagiri]


The Whole of the Path, Session 3 – Jun. 22, 2013

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3. “Can you give some suggestions on dealing with betrayal in relationships?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Relationships] [Sexual misconduct] [Trust] // [Spiritual friendship] [Faith] [Virtue] [Generosity] [Discernment] [Judgementalism] [Monastic life]

Sutta: Amaravati Chanting Book, p. 46: The Highest Blessings (Mangala Sutta, SN 2.4)


Calming the Busy Mind, Session 1 – Aug. 11, 2013

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3. “How do we deal with the frustration that arises after repeatedly catching the busy mind?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Tranquility] [Proliferation] // [Perfectionism]


Calming the Busy Mind, Session 2 – Aug. 11, 2013

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4. “Is there a state of the calm mind when you’re not thinking about anything or is meditation more about reflecting?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Directed thought and evaluation] [Recollection] [Tranquility] [Proliferation] // [Concentration] [Restlessness and worry] [Perfectionism] [Ardency]


Abhayagiri 2014 Winter Retreat, Session 13 – Jan. 22, 2014

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5. Comment: This reminds me of the phrase “possessing goodness.” [Self-identity view] [Virtue]

Response by Ajahn Pasanno: “The relinquishment doesn’t negate the need for cultivation of goodness.” [Conceit] [Right Effort] [Relinquishment]


Abhayagiri 2014 Winter Retreat, Session 37 – Feb. 25, 2014

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2. “How should we relate to the Buddha’s statement that sensual pleasure is to be feared?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Sensual desire] [Sense bases] [Fear] // [Culture/West] [Guilt/shame/inadequacy]

Sutta: MN 66.19: Sensual pleasure is to be feared.


Abhayagiri 2014 Winter Retreat, Session 43 – Mar. 5, 2014

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5. “Did Ajahn Mahā Boowa always praise the dtuaṅga practices?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Ascetic practices] [Ajahn Mahā Boowa] [Ajahn Mun] // [Qualities for non-decline]

Story: Ajahn Mun tells Ajahn Mahā Boowa to stop sweeping when he is sick with malaria. [Sickness] [Ardency] [Attachment to precepts and practices]

Story: Ajahn Mahā Boowa takes on the dtok bhat practice, but Ajahn Mun puts food in his bowl. Told by Ajahn Kaccāna. [Almsfood] [Conceit]

Story: Ajahn Pasanno meets a monk who didn’t need to sleep. [Devotion to wakefulness] [Sense restraint] [Concentration]

Story: Pa Auk Sayadaw didn’t sleep during a Rains Retreat. [Pa Auk Sayadaw]


Abhayagiri 2014 Winter Retreat, Session 51 – Mar. 17, 2014

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2. “The citta is sometimes defined as pure awareness, and it being in the fourth khanda, but it sounds like here he’s talking about the activity of awareness?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Heart/mind] [Knowing itself] [Volitional formations] // [Rebirth]

Quote: “There is that which is beyond birth and death. And then you start asking, ‘Well, what is it and how is it? How should it be?’ It’s just the same as in the Sabbāsava Sutta (MN 2.7)...As soon as you get into conceiving, you’ve already started the process of dukkha.” [Unconditioned ] [Proliferation] [Conceit] [Suffering]

Follow-up: “So is it better to hear what he said and let it go when I notice awareness that’s good, but I don’t have to make anything out of it?”

Quote: “The investigation is not a conceiving. The best investigation is when the mind is exceedingly still and not conceiving, not creating concepts.” [Discernment] [Concentration]

Follow-up: “So is it a realizing, not a conceiving?” [Knowledge and vision] [Conceit]


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3. “If you keep chipping away at a theme of contemplation, you keep doing it, doing it, and nothing is changing in your experience, at some stage you feel this isn’t working, do you just have to move on and try something else? Is it the case that you just have to try them all? No-one can tell you which is going to work for you?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Depression] [Recollection] // [Patience] [Spiritual friendship]

Story: Ajahn Wanchai has a spinal injury and is in chronic pain but doesn’t refer to himself. Told by Ajahn Pasanno and Ajahn Ñāṇiko. [Ajahn Wanchai] [Suffering] [Sickness] [Pain] [Conceit]


2014 Thanksgiving Monastic Retreat, Session 7 – Nov. 28, 2014

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15. “Is the ego the same as self? If different, in what ways?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Self-identity view] [Western psychology] // [Conceit] [Volitional formations] [Conditionality] [Ignorance] [Cause of Suffering]


Abhayagiri 2015 Winter Retreat, Session 5 – Jan. 10, 2015

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1. “Do you need to be a non-returner to be free from the fear of death?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno and Ajahn Karuṇadhammo. [Non-return] [Fear] [Death] [Sensual desire] // [Arahant] [Conceit] [Stream entry] [Faith]


Abhayagiri 2015 Winter Retreat, Session 21 – Feb. 1, 2015

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1. “Is it easy for a person with attainments to deal with the world?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Stages of awakening] [Everyday life] // [Discernment] [Conceit] [Culture/West] [Wrong concentration]

Quote: “To push away the world is also to reifying it. One gives it power when one is afraid of it.” [Craving not to become] [Proliferation] [Fear]

Laypeople with highly developed meditation practice function well in the world. Comment by Ajahn Ñāṇiko. [Lay life] [Meditation/Results] [Energy]


Desire or Aspiration, Session 1 – Jun. 14, 2015

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10. “Any advice for cures for burnout? I’m in a helping profession and feel depleted and exhausted. I need help getting the balance between giving and receiving.” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Depression] [Work] [Health] [Generosity] [Compassion] // [Culture/West] [Idealism] [Commentaries] [Selfishness]

Quote: “Compassion in the English language means ‘to suffer with.’ If you end up suffering with too much, you end up burnt out.” [Language] [Suffering]

Quote: “Don’t think you’re a ten-wheeled dump truck when all you are is a wheelbarrow.” — Ajahn Chah [Ajahn Chah]

Commentary: Path of Purification by Bhikkhu Ñāṇamoli, p. 291: Classical cultivation of goodwill and compassion, first to yourself. [Goodwill]

Quote: “Our ability to be with others and to help and to give is dependent on our being kind and compassionate to ourselves.” [Spiritual friendship] [Self-reliance]


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11. “Is sexuality and wanting an intimate connection with another considered a negative desire?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Sensual desire] [Relationships] [Desire] [Unskillful qualities] // [Food] [Clear comprehension] [Compassion] [Selfishness] [Discernment] [Precepts] [Trust]

Quote: “It’s not so much a matter of thwarting desire, but understanding how desire works so we can build those bonds of trust and care.”


Buddhist Identity in the Modern World – Aug. 15, 2015

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2. “What did the Buddha think following his teachings should mean or entail?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Three Refuges] [Precepts] [History/Western Buddhism] [Buddhist identity] // [Virtue] [Lay life] [Faith] [Generosity] [Association with people of integrity] [Hearing the true Dhamma] [Learning] [Practicing in accordance with Dhamma] [Conceit]

Sutta: AN 8.26 Jīvaka Sutta


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17. “What is the right point to drop or ignore the desire to identify with the Buddhist identity?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno and Ajahn Karuṇadhammo. [Relinquishment] [Desire] [Self-identity view] [Buddhist identity] // [Suffering] [Perfectionism] [Clear comprehension] [Conventions] [Ajahn Chah] [Right Effort]


2015 Thanksgiving Monastic Retreat, Session 5 – Nov. 25, 2015

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3. “You often talk about gladdening and lightening the mind. How do I do that?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Gladdening the mind ] // [Recollection] [Divine Abidings] [Empathetic joy] [Competitiveness] [Three Refuges] [Perception of light]


2015 Thanksgiving Monastic Retreat, Session 8 – Nov. 28, 2015

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4. “I was wondering if the merit we have done for meditation practice can be dedicated to the people (dead or alive) we pray for? How do we know it? Also, I have heard that the merit from practicing meditation will accumulate and stay with ones who have practiced that, which also carries over throughout the life or the subsequent incarnations. Can you clarify this?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Merit] [Prayer] [Rebirth] // [Theravāda] [Mahāyāna] [Vajrayāna] [Science] [Faith] [Selfishness]

Stories told by Ajahn Paññānanda about dedication of merit. [Ajahn Paññānanda] [Culture/Thailand] [Superstition] [Death]


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6. “If I remember correctly, you said with practice what can be realized is not so much the abandonment of the self but the misperception of a self given there has never been a self to be abandoned, correct?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Not-self] // [Clinging] [Doctrine-of-self clinging] [Self-identity view] [Aggregates]

Sutta: MN 72.15: I-making and my-making (aṅkārama-maṅkāra). [Conceit]


Suttas You've Never Heard Of, Session 1 – Jun. 25, 2016

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4. “In the West, we personalize every bit of suffering. Is it different in Thailand?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno and Ajahn Karuṇadhammo. [Culture/West] [Suffering] [Self-identity view] [Culture/Thailand] // [Language] [Liberation]

Story: Ajahn Pasanno can’t translate guilt into Thai. Told by Ajahn Pasanno. [Ajahn Pasanno] [Guilt/shame/inadequacy] [Thai] [Translation]

Quote: “That’s really suffering. Tell them not to do that.” — Ajahn Paññānanda [Ajahn Paññānanda] [Guilt/shame/inadequacy]

Reference: Can’t We Talk about Something More Pleasant? by Roz Chast (commercial). [Ageing] [Sickness] [Parents] [Health care]


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5. “In this sutta (AN 5.48), there’s the assumption that everyone has enemies. It’s making me a little paranoid.” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Fear] [Sutta] [Human] // [Judgementalism]


Two Kinds of Thought and the Removal of Distracting Thoughts, Session 2 – Jun. 4, 2017

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8. “All these practices [in MN 20] have been useful to calm the thoughts in the moment, but with ill-will and forgiveness, it hasn’t genuinely changed the underlying emotion. I thought I had forgiven somebody, but ill-will comes up towards that person six months later. When do you genuinely change the underlying emotion?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Calming meditation] [Ill-will] [Forgiveness] [Unwholesome Roots] // [Right Intention] [Conditionality] [Perfectionism]


Teen Weekend 2017 – Sep. 2, 2017

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14. “What are the biggest misconceptions about being ordained?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Monastic life] // [Selfishness]

Story: Ajahn Pasanno visits Ajahn Buddhadāsa: “Don’t be selfish!” [Ajahn Buddhadāsa] [Ajahn Pasanno] [Selfishness]


The Teaching and the Training, Session 6 – Mar. 22, 2018

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1. “How does upatakhing fit into our training and what can we learn from it?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Upatakh] [Vinaya] [Respect for elders] [Monastic life] [Saṅgha] // [Culture/Thailand] [Conceit] [Generosity] [Protocols] [Discernment] [Mindfulness]

Vinaya: Cv 8: Vattakkhandhaka - Protocols

Story: Ajahn Lee upataks Ajahn Mun. [Ajahn Mun] [Ajahn Lee Dhammadharo]


The New Ajahn Chah Biography, Session 2 – Apr. 21, 2018

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16. “Can you speak about regret?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Conscience and prudence] [Restlessness and worry] // [Guilt/shame/inadequacy] [Determination] [Skillful qualities] [Culture/West] [Kamma] [Goodwill]

Story: Ajahn Pasanno can’t translate guilt into Thai. [Ajahn Pasanno] [Guilt/shame/inadequacy] [Thai] [Suffering]


The New Ajahn Chah Biography, Session 3 – Apr. 21, 2018

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16. “These readings give the sense that the Northeastern Thai Isan culture is the soil that supports the living tradition. Are there cultural attitudes or ingredients that would be helpful for laypeople in addition to the key things of sīla and Right View?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Culture/Thailand] [Thai Forest Tradition] [Culture/West] [Virtue] [Right View] // [Generosity] [Meditation] [Precepts] [Guilt/shame/inadequacy] [Happiness]


The Path of Practice, Session 2 – Jun. 16, 2019

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3. “According to the first precept, how would you look at the case of abortion?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Killing] [Abortion] // [Vinaya] [Politics and society] [Judgementalism] [Health care]


Love, Attachment, and Friendship, Session 2 – Oct. 12, 2019

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5. Simile: Sculpting different materials requires different tools. This practice is more molding than hammering. [Similes] [Right Effort]

Response by Ajahn Ñāṇiko: Ajahn Amaro used to say, “The beatings won’t stop until morale improves.” At a certain point, you have to decide to stop. [Goodwill] [Ajahn Amaro] [Judgementalism] [Cessation]


Love, Attachment, and Friendship, Session 3 – Oct. 12, 2019

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3. “My natural tendency is to push the world away and to have the attitude that enjoyment is wrong. I’m working on trying to enjoy life. Do you have any ideas about this?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Craving not to become] [Christianity] [Hinduism] [Ascetic practices] [Happiness] [Skillful qualities] // [Monastic life] [Ajahn Sucitto] [Guilt/shame/inadequacy] [Culture/West]

The Rule of St. Benedict and Ajahn Sucitto’s talk “Fellow Worms.” [Humility] [Guilt/shame/inadequacy]

Story: A BBC interviewer asks King Rama IX about original sin. [Media] [King Rama IX] [Culture/Thailand] [Nature of mind]

Causal processes leading to sāmadhi and dispassion have different starting points, but they all go through delight and happiness. [Conditionality] [Concentration] [Dispassion]

Quote: “Monks, do not be afraid of puñña.” — Iti 22 [Merit] [Fear] [Liberation]

Quote: “The happy mind is easily concentrated.”


Developing Skill in Reflective Meditation, Session 2 – Dec. 1, 2019

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5. “Can you say more about recollection of renunciation? How can this be used skillfully or not?” Answered by Ajahn Ñāṇiko. [Recollection/Generosity] [Renunciation] [Recollection] // [Contentment] [Self-pity] [Sickness] [Equanimity] [Buddha/Biography] [Fasting] [Devotion to wakefulness] [Lunar observance days] [Abhayagiri]

Recollection: Going without in the early days of Abhayagiri Monastery. [Almsfood]


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8. Comment: Instead of thinking of one thing which I was having difficulty with, I brought to mind all the things that were working. [Directed thought and evaluation] [Appropriate attention] [Recollection]

Response by Ajahn Pasanno. [Guilt/shame/inadequacy] [Recollection/Virtue] [Faith]


Stanford Community Dhamma Discussion – Apr. 25, 2020

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2. “What advice do you have for students or graduates hoping to progess on the Noble Path towards Nibbāna while a student or in the workplace?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Eightfold Path] [Nibbāna] [Learning] [Work] [Lay life] // [Human] [Discernment] [Compassion] [Generosity] [Perfectionism] [Desire] [Suffering] [Politics and society] [Simplicity] [Environment] [Depression] [Restlessness and worry] [Skillful qualities] [Community]


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8. “You mentioned that ruminating on how one would like to change the world or the conditions around oneself can be a source of needless suffering. But there are times when one does want to work to change the world or the way society is organized for the sake of lovingkindness and alleviating suffering. How do we engage with those desire for change in a skillful way?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Politics and society] [Suffering] [Desire] [Goodwill] [Compassion] [Skillful qualities] [Activism] // [Conditionality] [Self-identity view] [Conflict] [Poverty] [Judgementalism] [Aversion] [Culture/Thailand] [Environment] [Idealism]

Quote: “If one is going to commit oneself to change, one has to get used to looking at things from a big perspective, a perspective of ‘How do we include rather than exclude?’” [Community]

Quote: “You want to approach a particular problem with an open a mind as possible and then see who might be willing and able to help.”


Living in a Changing Society – Aug. 23, 2020

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12. “What is the difference between emptiness, nothingness, and space? How can I use colors to develop the mind?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Emptiness] [Kasiṇa] // [Self-identity view] [Relinquishment] [Conceit] [Middle Path] [Etymology] [Not-self] [Elements] [Tranquility] [History/Early Buddhism] [Culture/West]


Abhayagiri 25th Anniversary Retreat, Session 9 – Jun. 11, 2021

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7. “I’m lucky not to have any obligations such as taking care of a family, making money, working, etc., but I don’t know what to do with my life....Always wondering what to do with my life is a bit tough. How would you suggest I approach the situation?...How do you figure out what to do with your life when you have too much freedom?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Purpose/meaning] [Work] // [Culture/West] [Right Effort] [Conceit] [Generosity]

See also Question 3 in this same session.


Following the Path of a Forest Monk – Jun. 23, 2023

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15. “You’ve lived a life dedicated to the spiritual quest of a Buddhist monk. What advice would you give to someone who’s starting out on the Eightfold Path and may have an interest in ordaining as a monk or nun?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Spiritual search ] [Monastic life] [Eightfold Path] [Monastic life/Motivation] [Ajahn Pasanno] // [Appropriate attention] [Culture/West] [Perfectionism] [Happiness] [Right Effort] [Patience]


Interreligious Retreat-Seminar on Dhamma and Non-duality, Session 1 – Nov. 24, 2023

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5. “What would be your advice when young monks are wavering in their decsion?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Monastic life/Motivation ] [Doubt] // [Fear] [Guilt/shame/inadequacy] [Noble Truth of Suffering] [Ajahn Pasanno] [Delusion] [Continuity of mindfulness] [Mindfulness of body]

Recurrent refrain in the Suttas: “I know you, Māra,” e. g. SN 4.1, SN 4.5. [Māra] [Sutta] [Knowing itself]


Interreligious Retreat-Seminar on Dhamma and Non-duality, Session 5 – Nov. 26, 2023

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1. “What should one consider when looking for a teacher or guru to guide one’s personal journey?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Teachers ] [Mentoring] [Discernment] // [Ajahn Chah] [Determination] [Truth] [Perfectionism] [Personality]

Quote: “I saw many people show up [at Wat Pah Pong] with their list of what they thought a perfect teacher should be....and they would leave.” [Perfectionism]

Quote: “It is only when we are willing to give ourselves to truth or reality that the teacher makes sense.”