Includes tags: Conceit, Guilt/shame/inadequacy, Judgementalism, Perfectionism, Jealousy, Competitiveness, Selfishness, Self-pity
“It seems that suffering in the lives of many people, my own included, comes from feeling unworthy or unlovable. Would you have any thoughts on why so many people feel that way and what will help to let go of this feeling? Thank you!” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Guilt/shame/inadequacy ] // [Culture/West] [Christianity] [Goodwill] [Competitiveness]
2014 Thanksgiving Monastic Retreat, Session 5, Excerpt 6
“Competitiveness feels so pervasive here in America. What are your thoughts for working with it or healing it?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Competitiveness ] [Culture/West] // [Suffering] [Self-identity view] [Relinquishment] [History/America] [Proliferation]
Reflection: The nine bases of conceit. [Conceit] [Competitiveness ]
2015 Thanksgiving Monastic Retreat, Session 6, Excerpt 5
“What is the best approach to deal with guilt?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Guilt/shame/inadequacy ] // [Culture/West] [Conscience and prudence] [Learning] [Faith] [Discernment] [Self-identity view] [Not-self] [Aggregates]
Sutta: MN 22.58: “Whatever is not yours, abandon it.”
2015 Thanksgiving Monastic Retreat, Session 1, Excerpt 9
10. Quote: “I feel incredibly indebted to Ajahn Chah.” — Ajahn Jitindriyā [Gratitude] [Respect for elders] [Ajahn Chah] // [Cultural context] [Language] [Teaching Dhamma] [Goodwill] [Perfectionism]
4. Quote: “I think with any Westerner, we’re so full of ourselves when we go [to Asia]. We want to get enlightened....” — Ajahn Sumedho [Culture/West] [Conceit] [Liberation] [Ajahn Chah] [Ajahn Sumedho] // [Mentoring] [Respect for elders]
8. Ajahn Chah made me look at myself. Teaching by Ajahn Sumedho. [Teaching Dhamma] [Ajahn Chah] [Ajahn Sumedho] // [Hearing the true Dhamma] [Posture/Sitting] [Pain] [Aversion] [Admonishment/feedback] [Humor] [Patience] [Goodwill] [Discernment] [Contentment] [Cessation] [Happiness] [Saṅgha] [Views] [Relinquishment]
Quote: “Your practice now is patience.” — Ajahn Chah
Story: Ajahn Chah chats for hours after Pāṭimokkha. [Idle chatter] [Judgementalism]
4. Story: When I met Ajahn Chah. Told by Ṭhānissarā. [Ṭhānissarā] [Ajahn Chah] // [Meditation retreats] [Ajahn Sumedho] [Personal presence] [Hearing the true Dhamma] [Liberation] [Happiness]
Story: Ajahn Chah bows to a small, neglected Buddha image in a secular meditation center and inspires Ṭhānissarā‘s faith. [Bowing] [Buddha images] [Perception of a samaṇa] [Human] [Faith]
Quote: “If you’ve been listening to this and you think this is good or you think this is bad, then you haven’t been listening properly.” — Ajahn Chah [Judgementalism] [Appropriate attention]
2. “Did Ajahn Chah pass his teaching style to you or do you use your own separate style?” Answered by Ajahn Sumedho and Paul Breiter. [Personality] [Ajahn Chah] [Teaching Dhamma]
Story: Ajahn Sumedho, first abbot of Wat Pah Nanachat. Told by Ajahn Sumedho. [Ajahn Sumedho] [Abbot] [Wat Pah Nanachat] [Sequence of training] [Culture/West] [Joseph Kappel] [Selfishness] [Aversion] [Suffering] [Guilt/shame/inadequacy] [Humor]
Quote: “The special thing about Luang Por Chah was that he was at ease and completely himself.” — Ajahn Sumedho [Contentment]
Response by Paul Breiter: “The elements are there, but different teachers are expressing them in a living way.”
2. Story: Ajahn Sumedho meets Jack Kornfield. Told by Ajahn Sumedho. [Jack Kornfield] [Ajahn Sumedho] [Ajahn Chah] // [Wat Pah Pong] [Insight Meditation Society] [Judgementalism]
Story: Ajahn Sumedho stays on Pupek Mountain. [Seclusion] [Suffering] [Aversion] [Sickness] [Self-pity] [Mindfulness of breathing] [Robes] [Humor] [Gratitude]
9. Story: Dump your money in the river. Told by Jack Kornfield. [Conceit] [Commerce/economics] [Fierce/direct teaching] [Truth] [Ajahn Chah] [Humor] // [Compassion]
17. Quote: “Look at others 10% of the time and look at yourself 90%; that’s about the right measure.” — Ajahn Chah. Quoted by Jack Kornfield. [Ajahn Chah] [Judgementalism] [Admonishment/feedback] [Discernment] // [Idealism] [Conventions] [Heart/mind] [Vinaya]
Story: Ajahn Chah’s teacher eats sloppily. [Teachers] [Food] [Suffering]
4. Stories: The Chipmunk Story and The Donkey Story. Told by Kittisaro. [Kittisaro] [Depression] [Humor ] [Similes] [Ajahn Chah] // [Recreation/leisure/sport] [Perfectionism] [Meditation] [Thai Ajahn Chah monasteries] [Sickness] [Animal] [Learning] [Health care] [Self-identity view] [Joseph Kappel] [Compassion] [Energy] [Right Effort] [Equanimity] [Lawfulness]
2. I was the first Westerner, so he gave me an enormous amout of attention for the first two or three years. Reflection by Ajahn Sumedho. [History/Western Buddhist monasticism] [Ajahn Sumedho] [Mentoring] [Ajahn Chah] // [Ajahn Mahā Amorn] [Other Thai Forest teachers] [Pāṭimokkha] [Conceit] [Paul Breiter] [Truth] [Compassion] [Humor]
Story: Venerable Varapañño chants the Pāṭimokkha better than Ajahn Sumedho. [Competitiveness] [Conceit] [Jealousy]
Note: The story that Ajahn Sumedho didn’t tell is probably told in Stillness Flowing by Ajahn Jayasaro, p. 189.
3. Comment: Even the monastic life can be competitive. [Monastic life] [Competitiveness] // [Posture/Sitting] [Wat Pah Nanachat] [Culture/West] [Conceit]
1. Story: My experiences with Ajahn Chah. Told by Nan Meister. [Gratitude] [Faith] [Ajahn Chah] // [Ajahn Liem] [Suffering] [Commerce/economics] [Spiritual urgency] [Joseph Kappel] [Bowing] [Wat Pah Pong] [Mae Chee Kumfah] [Ajahn Pasanno] [Wat Pah Nanachat] [Mae Chee] [Ghost] [Conceit] [Fierce/direct teaching]
4. “As a guilt-ridden American, how do you respond to personal mistakes without guilt?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Guilt/shame/inadequacy] [Culture/West] [Great disciples] // [Saṅgha] [Conscience and prudence] [Pāli] [Skillful qualities] [Self-identity view] [Respect] [Perception] [Virtue] [Buddha]
Story: A monk falsely accuses Sāriputta (AN 9.11). [Forgiveness]
3. “Reflecting on your 35 years in robes, do you have any strong lessons that stand out?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Ajahn Pasanno] [Christianity] [Monastic life] [Long-term practice] [Discernment] // [Patience] [Ajahn Chah] [Virtue] [Meditation retreats]
Quote: “Oftentimes we don’t really recognize the goodness that we’re doing.” [Perfectionism] [Judgementalism]
Quote: “Patience isn’t just enduring. It’s being able to be present with experience.” [Direct experience] [Present moment awareness]
4. “Can the practice be used in a punitative or punishing way?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Guilt/shame/inadequacy] // [Culture/West] [Habits] [Clear comprehension] [Craving not to become]
Quote: “Having a human mind...it’s amazing how perverse it can be sometimes.” [Human] [Unwholesome Roots]
Story: Ajahn Pasanno can’t translate guilt into Thai. [Ajahn Pasanno] [Guilt/shame/inadequacy] [Translation] [Culture/Thailand] [Suffering]
Quote: “All you need to do is create a cage of mindfulness around [unskillful habits].” — Ajahn Chah [Ajahn Chah] [Sense restraint] [Mindfulness] [Unskillful qualities] [Similes]
Follow-up: “What about letting the tiger go instead of keeping it in a cage?”
Follow-up: “What about the case when one feels one is the tiger trapped in a metaphorical cage. How to escape?” [Liberation] [Perception] [Self-identity view] [Spiritual friendship]
9. “I have an internal voice that’s concerned whether I’m doing it right; if I’m not doing it right, then I won’t get where I want to go. Is this delusion?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Eightfold Path] [Perfectionism] [Delusion] // [Suffering] [Fear] [Mindfulness of body] [Volitional formations]
19. Comment by Ajahn Yatiko: Right Livelihood isn’t about judging other people’s livelihood. [Judgementalism] [Right Livelihood]
Response by Ajahn Pasanno. [Eightfold Path] [Pāli] [Cessation of Suffering] [Happiness]
9. “In letting go of thoughts that habitually arise from negative self-criticism or from past trauma defenses, how do we ask these powerful mental states to not overwhelm our mindfulness?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Guilt/shame/inadequacy] [Mindfulness]
6. “Can you please give perspective on thoughts/feelings of inadequacy and comparison to others?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Guilt/shame/inadequacy]
12. “Some monks have told me I’m selfish for being so focused on release. They say I should help others more. What are your thoughts?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Release] [Selfishness] [Generosity]
8. Comment by Ajahn Ñāṇiko: Ajahn Chah’s brother didn’t have an inferiority complex. [Ajahn Chah] [Family] [Guilt/shame/inadequacy]
5. “Did Ajahn Mahā Boowa always praise the dtuaṅga practices?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Ascetic practices] [Ajahn Mahā Boowa] [Ajahn Mun] // [Qualities for non-decline]
Story: Ajahn Mun tells Ajahn Mahā Boowa to stop sweeping when he is sick with malaria. [Sickness] [Ardency] [Attachment to precepts and practices]
Story: Ajahn Mahā Boowa takes on the dtok bhat practice, but Ajahn Mun puts food in his bowl. Told by Ajahn Kaccāna. [Almsfood] [Conceit]
Story: Ajahn Pasanno meets a monk who didn’t need to sleep. [Devotion to wakefulness] [Sense restraint] [Concentration]
Story: Pa Auk Sayadaw didn’t sleep during a Rains Retreat. [Pa Auk Sayadaw]
2. “The citta is sometimes defined as pure awareness, and it being in the fourth khanda, but it sounds like here he’s talking about the activity of awareness?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Heart/mind] [Knowing itself] [Volitional formations] // [Rebirth]
Quote: “There is that which is beyond birth and death. And then you start asking, ‘Well, what is it and how is it? How should it be?’ It’s just the same as in the Sabbāsava Sutta (MN 2.7)...As soon as you get into conceiving, you’ve already started the process of dukkha.” [Unconditioned ] [Proliferation] [Conceit] [Suffering]
Follow-up: “So is it better to hear what he said and let it go when I notice awareness that’s good, but I don’t have to make anything out of it?”
Quote: “The investigation is not a conceiving. The best investigation is when the mind is exceedingly still and not conceiving, not creating concepts.” [Discernment] [Concentration]
Follow-up: “So is it a realizing, not a conceiving?” [Knowledge and vision] [Conceit]
3. “If you keep chipping away at a theme of contemplation, you keep doing it, doing it, and nothing is changing in your experience, at some stage you feel this isn’t working, do you just have to move on and try something else? Is it the case that you just have to try them all? No-one can tell you which is going to work for you?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Depression] [Recollection] // [Patience] [Spiritual friendship]
Story: Ajahn Wanchai has a spinal injury and is in chronic pain but doesn’t refer to himself. Told by Ajahn Pasanno and Ajahn Ñāṇiko. [Ajahn Wanchai] [Suffering] [Sickness] [Pain] [Conceit]
4. “Thank you for your talk on mindfulness today—very helpful. I’ve been practicing for a long time (and have even had a few insights that made big impressions on me) and while my sila has definitely improved, my mindfulness is a priority and I might have a tad more wisdom, my mind looks for ways to suffer. Sometimes I feel like a total failure as a Buddhist. I understand that letting go of identity view is the answer, but how? What am I missing?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Long-term practice] [Suffering] [Perfectionism] [Self-identity view] // [Aggregates] [Relinquishment] [Drawbacks] [Gladdening the mind]
Sutta: SN 22.22: The Burden (Chanting Book translation)
7. “Thank you for these wonderful teachings. I understand that ‘citta’ is both the heart and mind but my felt experience is often so different. My mind is often crabby and critical and down right mean, at least to me, but my heart is soft and sweet and easily moved. In fact, my mind can make my heart cry! Please help with this dilemma. Much mettā.” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Nature of mind] [Heart/mind] [Judgementalism]
17. “How does one work with ones own judgments that come up so often during the meditation practice? (They are mostly judgments of myself, for not getting there…)” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Judgementalism] [Guilt/shame/inadequacy]
6. “It seems that suffering in the lives of many people, my own included, comes from feeling unworthy or unlovable. Would you have any thoughts on why so many people feel that way and what will help to let go of this feeling? Thank you!” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Guilt/shame/inadequacy ] // [Culture/West] [Christianity] [Goodwill] [Competitiveness]
3. Readings from the Introduction to Listening to the Heart by Kittisaro and Ṭhānissarā (commercial). Read by Ajahn Pasanno. [Kittisaro]
Story: Kittisaro’s first meeting with Ajahn Chah. [Ajahn Chah] [Conceit] [Body scanning] [Humor]
Stories: The Squirrel Story and the Donkey Story. [Learning]
3. “How do you respond to the cynical inner voice when you recollect your own virtue?” Answered by Ajahn Karuṇadhammo and Ajahn Ṭhitapañño. [Recollection/Virtue] [Judgementalism] // [Ajahn Sucitto] [Habits] [Guilt/shame/inadequacy] [Culture/West] [Humor]
2. Discussion about kamma and the results of kamma. Led by Ajahn Karuṇadhammo, Ajahn Pasanno and Ajahn Ñāṇiko. [Kamma] [Conditionality] [Feeling] // [Abuse/violence] [Abhidhamma] [Ajahn Chah] [Vajrayāna] [Sickness] [Compassion] [Culture/India] [Equanimity] [Disasters] [Christianity]
Quote: “Too much Dhamma.” — Ajahn Buddhadāsa. Quoted by Ajahn Pasanno. [Ajahn Buddhadāsa]
Sutta: AN 4.77 Acinteyya: “Vexation or madness.”
Story: Ajahn Chah to Ajahn Munindo: “If it wasn’t supposed to be this way, it wouldn’t have been this way.” Told by Ajahn Pasanno. [Ajahn Munindo] [Self-pity]
Thai saying: “That’s as far as their merit takes them.” [Culture/Thailand] [Death] [Merit] [Thai]
3. “A lot of my life has been based on guilt, punishment, achievement, feeling driven, and perfectionism. Recently I experienced the reverse of this. Perfectionism is mixed up with wholesome desire. Could you respond?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Guilt/shame/inadequacy] [Judgementalism] [Idealism] [Desire] [Contentment] // [Discernment] [Self-identity view] [Human]
Story: Ajahn Pasanno can’t translate the question ‘How do I work with guilt?’ into Thai. [Ajahn Paññānanda] [Ajahn Pasanno] [Guilt/shame/inadequacy] [Language] [Culture/West] [Culture/Thailand] [Suffering]
9. “What is the best approach to deal with guilt?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Guilt/shame/inadequacy ] // [Culture/West] [Conscience and prudence] [Learning] [Faith] [Discernment] [Self-identity view] [Not-self] [Aggregates]
Sutta: MN 22.58: “Whatever is not yours, abandon it.”
5. “Competitiveness feels so pervasive here in America. What are your thoughts for working with it or healing it?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Competitiveness ] [Culture/West] // [Suffering] [Self-identity view] [Relinquishment] [History/America] [Proliferation]
Reflection: The nine bases of conceit. [Conceit] [Competitiveness ]
3. “Could you talk a bit about the kilesas? How to see them clearly and work with them skillfully without falling into discouragement and self-judgment?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Unwholesome Roots ] [Right Effort] [Guilt/shame/inadequacy] // [Mindfulness] [Discernment] [Recollection/Virtue] [Perception]
18. “I often feel overwhelmed with the greed, hatred, ill-will, and delusion that the corporate world exerts over the masses to the benefit of only themselves and that is destroying the planet’s ability to renew itself. Could you speak about Buddhist involvement in social change movements?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Politics and society] [Activism ] [Unwholesome Roots] [Commerce/economics] [Selfishness] [Environment ] // [Truth] [Ajahn Pasanno] [Non-profit organizations]
Ajahn Pasanno reflects on the results of his efforts to preserve forests in Thailand. [Geography/Thailand] [Learning] [Greed] [Corruption]
Quote: “Can I set an example myself and can I help encourage other people who are interested?”
4. “In the West, we personalize every bit of suffering. Is it different in Thailand?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno and Ajahn Karuṇadhammo. [Culture/West] [Suffering] [Self-identity view] [Culture/Thailand] // [Language] [Liberation]
Story: Ajahn Pasanno can’t translate guilt into Thai. Told by Ajahn Pasanno. [Ajahn Pasanno] [Guilt/shame/inadequacy] [Thai] [Translation]
Quote: “That’s really suffering. Tell them not to do that.” — Ajahn Paññānanda [Ajahn Paññānanda] [Guilt/shame/inadequacy]
Reference: Can’t We Talk about Something More Pleasant? by Roz Chast (commercial). [Ageing] [Sickness] [Parents] [Health care]
3. Story: Once a junior monk approached Ajahn Chah and listed all Ajahn Chah’s faults. Ajahn Chah replied, “It’s a good thing you’re not looking for perfection in yourself!” Told by Ajahn Jotipālo. [Ajahn Chah] [Virtue] [Perfectionism]
4. Comment: When I hear the word “shame,” it’s.a cousin of guilt. But in this context (AN 7.6), it seems more acceptable. [Treasures] [Guilt/shame/inadequacy] [Conscience and prudence]
Response by Ajahn Pasanno and Ajahn Karuṇadhammo. [Language] [Christianity]
6. “Would you have some suggestions on working with shame? As an emotion, it feels very “sticky” and probably the hardest one for me to work with. It seems like it is deeply rooted in my mind (probably thanks to Christianity). Is it true that Thai people have an easier time with it than westerners? Is an antidote to shame self-compassion?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Guilt/shame/inadequacy] [Culture/Thailand] [Culture/West] [Compassion]
5. “I am tangled up in self-identification and conceit. What should I do to get myself out?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Self-identity view] [Conceit]
5. Comment: I’ve discovered on this path that we can change, but sometimes we can not change, and it’s just accepting ourselves better and being more at ease in our bodies. [Eightfold Path] [Judgementalism] [Tranquility]
Response by Ajahn Pasanno and Ajahn Karuṇadhammo.
9. Comment: It’s so hard not to identify with the contents of the mind, to not make it me and mine. Realizing how useless so many of my thoughts are helps. [Self-identity view] [Guilt/shame/inadequacy] [Suffering] [Disenchantment] [Directed thought and evaluation]
Response by Ajahn Pasanno. [Mindfulness] [Pāli]
Response by Ajahn Karuṇadhammo. [Guilt/shame/inadequacy] [Not-self] [Humility]
14. “What are the biggest misconceptions about being ordained?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Monastic life] // [Selfishness]
Story: Ajahn Pasanno visits Ajahn Buddhadāsa: “Don’t be selfish!” [Ajahn Buddhadāsa] [Ajahn Pasanno] [Selfishness]
16. “Can you speak about regret?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Conscience and prudence] [Restlessness and worry] // [Guilt/shame/inadequacy] [Determination] [Skillful qualities] [Culture/West] [Kamma] [Goodwill]
Story: Ajahn Pasanno can’t translate guilt into Thai. [Ajahn Pasanno] [Guilt/shame/inadequacy] [Thai] [Suffering]
5. “Could you please address judgement and discernment?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Judgementalism] [Discernment] // [Self-identity view] [Skillful qualities] [Four Noble Truths] [Culture/West] [Impermanence] [Conditionality]
9. “When strong feelings associated with conceit come, what to do?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Conceit] [Feeling] // [Noble Truth of Suffering] [Mindfulness of feeling] [Clear comprehension] [Nutriment] [Relinquishment] [Patience]
1. Comment to Ajahn Ñāṇiko: I really appreciate the honest of your sharing. In terms of self-criticism over the years, what brought about any shift was being authentic, but whilst I wanted not to be critical, it was still there. By watching that process and not identifying with it so much, it gradually shifted until I was able to wish myself well more genuinely. [Truth] [Judgementalism] [Long-term practice] [Direct experience] [Not-self] [Goodwill] // [Buddhist identity] [Faith]
Response by Ajahn Ñāṇiko.
4. “I thought to be self-critical was to improve yourself, to know how and where you need to improve yourself. How is being self-critical not good for yourself?” Answered by Ajahn Ñāṇiko. [Judgementalism] [Right Effort] // [Guilt/shame/inadequacy] [Energy] [Goodwill] [Idealism] [Unwholesome Roots]
Story: Eight months to Enlightenment. [Ajahn Ñāṇiko] [Abhayagiri] [Liberation]
1. “What can I do to stop judging?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Judgementalism] // [Suffering] [Relinquishment]
5. “A sense of causeless joy permeates awareness, yet there remains a sense of me that experiences. How to dissolve that?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Happiness] [Knowing itself] [Conceit] // [Noble Truth of Suffering] [Suffering] [Relinquishment]
19. “When one moves through the world with compassion and lovingkindness, how does one avoid feeling depleted? In a world of ‘individuals,’ most take more than they give and to always be giving can be exhausting.” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Compassion] [Goodwill] [Selfishness] [Generosity] [Depression] // [Not-self] [Four Noble Truths] [Cause of Suffering]
Quote: “When we are attentive to freedom from suffering, there’s an inexhaustible well of goodness there.” [Cessation of Suffering] [Skillful qualities]
1. “What should one consider when looking for a teacher or guru to guide one’s personal journey?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Teachers ] [Mentoring] [Discernment] // [Ajahn Chah] [Determination] [Truth] [Perfectionism] [Personality]
Quote: “I saw many people show up [at Wat Pah Pong] with their list of what they thought a perfect teacher should be....and they would leave.” [Perfectionism]
Quote: “It is only when we are willing to give ourselves to truth or reality that the teacher makes sense.”