Part of tag cluster Conceit and guilt in key topic Unskillful Qualities
Glosses: Shame, Inadequacy
24 excerpts, 2:11:37 total duration
“It seems that suffering in the lives of many people, my own included, comes from feeling unworthy or unlovable. Would you have any thoughts on why so many people feel that way and what will help to let go of this feeling? Thank you!” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Guilt/shame/inadequacy ] // [Culture/West] [Christianity] [Goodwill] [Competitiveness]
2014 Thanksgiving Monastic Retreat, Session 5, Excerpt 6
“Would you have some suggestions on working with shame? As an emotion, it feels very “sticky” and probably the hardest one for me to work with. It seems like it is deeply rooted in my mind (probably thanks to Christianity). Is it true that Thai people have an easier time with it than westerners? Is an antidote to shame self-compassion?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Guilt/shame/inadequacy ] [Culture/Thailand] [Culture/West] [Compassion] // [Goodwill] [Self-identity view] [Relinquishment]
Thanksgiving Retreat 2016, Session 3, Excerpt 8
“What is the best approach to deal with guilt?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Guilt/shame/inadequacy ] // [Culture/West] [Conscience and prudence] [Learning] [Faith] [Discernment] [Self-identity view] [Not-self] [Aggregates]
Sutta: MN 22.58: “Whatever is not yours, abandon it.”
2. “Did Ajahn Chah pass his teaching style to you or do you use your own separate style?” Answered by Ajahn Sumedho and Paul Breiter. [Personality] [Ajahn Chah] [Teaching Dhamma]
Story: Ajahn Sumedho, first abbot of Wat Pah Nanachat. Told by Ajahn Sumedho. [Ajahn Sumedho] [Abbot] [Wat Pah Nanachat ] [Sequence of training] [Culture/West] [Joseph Kappel] [Aversion] [Suffering] [Guilt/shame/inadequacy] [Humor]
Quote: “The special thing about Luang Por Chah was that he was at ease and completely himself.” — Ajahn Sumedho [Contentment]
Response by Paul Breiter: “The elements are there, but different teachers are expressing them in a living way.”
4. “As a guilt-ridden American, how do you respond to personal mistakes without guilt?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Guilt/shame/inadequacy] [Culture/West] [Great disciples] // [Saṅgha] [Conscience and prudence] [Pāli] [Skillful qualities] [Self-identity view] [Respect] [Perception] [Virtue] [Buddha]
Story: A monk falsely accuses Sāriputta (AN 9.11). [Forgiveness]
3. Comment: Living on faith increases your potential anxiety level. I came to Buddhism thinking this would settle my life, but I realize that being open, aware, and sensitive to the world keeps bringing me new challenges. [Faith] [Restlessness and worry] [Everyday life] [Conscience and prudence] [Tudong]
Sutta: Dhp 244-245: Life is easy for for one without shame. [Conceit] [Virtue]
Response by Ajahn Pasanno: “You get more than what you bargained for.” [Happiness] [Culture/West] [Communal harmony] [Trust] [Concentration] [Ardency] [Energy] [Discernment] [Guilt/shame/inadequacy] [Right Effort]
Sutta: AN 11.1: Virtue leads to non-remorse and samādhi.
4. “Can the practice be used in a punitative or punishing way?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Guilt/shame/inadequacy] // [Culture/West] [Habits] [Clear comprehension] [Craving not to become]
Quote: “Having a human mind...it’s amazing how perverse it can be sometimes.” [Human] [Unwholesome Roots]
Story: Ajahn Pasanno can’t translate guilt into Thai. [Ajahn Pasanno] [Guilt/shame/inadequacy] [Translation] [Culture/Thailand] [Suffering]
Quote: “All you need to do is create a cage of mindfulness around [unskillful habits].” — Ajahn Chah [Ajahn Chah] [Sense restraint] [Mindfulness] [Unskillful qualities] [Similes]
Follow-up: “What about letting the tiger go instead of keeping it in a cage?”
Follow-up: “What about the case when one feels one is the tiger trapped in a metaphorical cage. How to escape?” [Liberation] [Perception] [Self-identity view] [Spiritual friendship]
9. “In letting go of thoughts that habitually arise from negative self-criticism or from past trauma defenses, how do we ask these powerful mental states to not overwhelm our mindfulness?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Guilt/shame/inadequacy] [Mindfulness]
6. “Can you please give perspective on thoughts/feelings of inadequacy and comparison to others?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Guilt/shame/inadequacy]
8. Comment by Ajahn Ñāṇiko: Ajahn Chah’s brother didn’t have an inferiority complex. [Ajahn Chah] [Family] [Guilt/shame/inadequacy]
2. “How should we relate to the Buddha’s statement that sensual pleasure is to be feared?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Sensual desire] [Sense bases] [Fear] // [Culture/West] [Guilt/shame/inadequacy]
Sutta: MN 66.19: Sensual pleasure is to be feared.
17. “How does one work with ones own judgments that come up so often during the meditation practice? (They are mostly judgments of myself, for not getting there…)” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Judgementalism] [Guilt/shame/inadequacy]
6. “It seems that suffering in the lives of many people, my own included, comes from feeling unworthy or unlovable. Would you have any thoughts on why so many people feel that way and what will help to let go of this feeling? Thank you!” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Guilt/shame/inadequacy ] // [Culture/West] [Christianity] [Goodwill] [Competitiveness]
3. “How do you respond to the cynical inner voice when you recollect your own virtue?” Answered by Ajahn Karuṇadhammo and Ajahn Ṭhitapañño. [Recollection/Virtue ] [Judgementalism] // [Ajahn Sucitto] [Habits] [Guilt/shame/inadequacy] [Culture/West] [Humor]
3. “A lot of my life has been based on guilt, punishment, achievement, feeling driven, and perfectionism. Recently I experienced the reverse of this. Perfectionism is mixed up with wholesome desire. Could you respond?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Guilt/shame/inadequacy] [Judgementalism] [Idealism] [Desire] [Contentment] // [Discernment] [Self-identity view] [Human]
Story: Ajahn Pasanno can’t translate the question ‘How do I work with guilt?’ into Thai. [Ajahn Paññānanda] [Ajahn Pasanno] [Guilt/shame/inadequacy] [Language] [Culture/West] [Culture/Thailand] [Suffering]
9. “What is the best approach to deal with guilt?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Guilt/shame/inadequacy ] // [Culture/West] [Conscience and prudence] [Learning] [Faith] [Discernment] [Self-identity view] [Not-self] [Aggregates]
Sutta: MN 22.58: “Whatever is not yours, abandon it.”
3. “Could you talk a bit about the kilesas? How to see them clearly and work with them skillfully without falling into discouragement and self-judgment?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Unwholesome Roots ] [Right Effort] [Guilt/shame/inadequacy] // [Mindfulness] [Discernment] [Recollection/Virtue] [Perception]
4. “In the West, we personalize every bit of suffering. Is it different in Thailand?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno and Ajahn Karuṇadhammo. [Culture/West ] [Suffering] [Self-identity view] [Culture/Thailand] // [Language] [Liberation]
Story: Ajahn Pasanno can’t translate guilt into Thai. Told by Ajahn Pasanno. [Ajahn Pasanno] [Guilt/shame/inadequacy] [Thai] [Translation]
Quote: “That’s really suffering. Tell them not to do that.” — Ajahn Paññānanda [Ajahn Paññānanda] [Guilt/shame/inadequacy]
Reference: Can’t We Talk about Something More Pleasant? by Roz Chast (commercial). [Ageing] [Sickness] [Parents] [Health care]
4. Comment: When I hear the word “shame,” it’s.a cousin of guilt. But in this context (AN 7.6), it seems more acceptable. [Treasures] [Guilt/shame/inadequacy] [Conscience and prudence]
Response by Ajahn Pasanno and Ajahn Karuṇadhammo. [Language] [Christianity]
8. “Would you have some suggestions on working with shame? As an emotion, it feels very “sticky” and probably the hardest one for me to work with. It seems like it is deeply rooted in my mind (probably thanks to Christianity). Is it true that Thai people have an easier time with it than westerners? Is an antidote to shame self-compassion?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Guilt/shame/inadequacy ] [Culture/Thailand] [Culture/West] [Compassion] // [Goodwill] [Self-identity view] [Relinquishment]
9. Comment: It’s so hard not to identify with the contents of the mind, to not make it me and mine. Realizing how useless so many of my thoughts are helps. [Self-identity view] [Guilt/shame/inadequacy] [Suffering] [Disenchantment] [Directed thought and evaluation]
Response by Ajahn Pasanno. [Mindfulness] [Pāli]
Response by Ajahn Karuṇadhammo. [Guilt/shame/inadequacy] [Not-self] [Humility]
16. “Can you speak about regret?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Conscience and prudence] [Restlessness and worry] // [Guilt/shame/inadequacy] [Determination] [Skillful qualities] [Culture/West] [Kamma] [Goodwill]
Story: Ajahn Pasanno can’t translate guilt into Thai. [Ajahn Pasanno] [Guilt/shame/inadequacy] [Thai] [Suffering]
16. “These readings give the sense that the Northeastern Thai Isan culture is the soil that supports the living tradition. Are there cultural attitudes or ingredients that would be helpful for laypeople in addition to the key things of sīla and Right View?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Culture/Thailand] [Thai Forest Tradition] [Culture/West] [Virtue] [Right View] // [Generosity] [Meditation] [Precepts] [Guilt/shame/inadequacy] [Happiness]
4. “I thought to be self-critical was to improve yourself, to know how and where you need to improve yourself. How is being self-critical not good for yourself?” Answered by Ajahn Ñāṇiko. [Judgementalism] [Right Effort] // [Guilt/shame/inadequacy] [Energy] [Goodwill] [Idealism] [Unwholesome Roots]
Story: Eight months to Enlightenment. [Ajahn Ñāṇiko] [Abhayagiri] [Liberation]
3. “My natural tendency is to push the world away and to have the attitude that enjoyment is wrong. I’m working on trying to enjoy life. Do you have any ideas about this?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Craving not to become] [Christianity] [Hinduism] [Ascetic practices] [Happiness] [Skillful qualities] // [Monastic life] [Ajahn Sucitto] [Guilt/shame/inadequacy] [Culture/West]
The Rule of St. Benedict and Ajahn Sucitto’s talk “Fellow Worms.” [Humility] [Guilt/shame/inadequacy]
Story: A BBC interviewer asks King Rama IX about original sin. [Media] [King Rama IX] [Culture/Thailand] [Nature of mind]
Causal processes leading to sāmadhi and dispassion have different starting points, but they all go through delight and happiness. [Conditionality] [Concentration] [Dispassion]
Quote: “Monks, do not be afraid of puñña.” — Iti 22 [Merit] [Fear] [Liberation]
Quote: “The happy mind is easily concentrated.”
8. Comment: Instead of thinking of one thing which I was having difficulty with, I brought to mind all the things that were working. [Directed thought and evaluation] [Appropriate attention] [Recollection]
Response by Ajahn Pasanno. [Guilt/shame/inadequacy] [Recollection/Virtue] [Faith]
5. “What would be your advice when young monks are wavering in their decsion?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Monastic life/Motivation ] [Doubt] // [Fear] [Guilt/shame/inadequacy] [Noble Truth of Suffering] [Ajahn Pasanno] [Delusion] [Continuity of mindfulness] [Mindfulness of body]
Recurrent refrain in the Suttas: “I know you, Māra,” e. g. SN 4.1, SN 4.5. [Māra] [Sutta] [Knowing itself]