Part of tag cluster Right Speech in key topic The Noble Eightfold Path
Subtags: False speech, Malicious speech, Harsh speech, Idle chatter, Admonishment/feedback, Listening, Blame and praise, Nonviolent Communication
See also: Energy, Patience
28 excerpts, 1:49:27 total duration
“A question regarding the 5 precepts. In daily life, I am really good about keeping #1, 2, 3 and 5; but somehow I found that the precept #4 is really hard. I find myself lying everyday such as: ‘Do I look good?’ → Yes, of course. ‘Do you want to eat some more?’ → No, thanks, I’m full (but in fact the food didn’t taste good). Or speaking at a wrong time, speaking too long, too short, too harsh or speaking with a wrong tone of voice. This is the hardest one for me. Kindly advise. Thank you.” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Five Precepts] [False speech ] [Right Speech ] // [Monastic life] [Precepts ] [Pāli] [Learning]
Quote: “The function of the precepts in terms of practice is to provide a mirror so we can understand our own intentions and volitions.” [Volition]
2014 Thanksgiving Monastic Retreat, Session 6, Excerpt 1
“During the Christmas holiday, I’m going to be spending some time with relatives who do not share my same political views. In the spirit of wanting to understand their views and wanting to heal the divide that exists in our country, I want to talk about the election with them. How do I have this conversation skillfully?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Family] [Politics and society ] [Right Speech ] // [Judgementalism] [Listening] [Human] [Sense restraint]
7. Qualities of Ajahn Chah’s speech. Reflection by Ajahn Sumedho. [Right Speech] [Ajahn Chah] // [Malicious speech] [Thai sects] [Fierce/direct teaching] [Trust] [Humor] [Goodwill] [Present moment awareness]
9. “Could you talk more about working with the hindrance of doubt?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Doubt ] // [Fear] [Aversion] [Sensual desire] [Mindfulness of body] [Tranquility] [Mindfulness of feeling] [Right Speech] [Delusion]
Simile: A dish of muddy water placed in a dark cupboard (SN 46.55). [Similes]
4. “If my sister has unwholesome friendships, how can I help her redirect these?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Family] [Spiritual friendship] // [Compassion] [Judgementalism] [Right Intention] [Right Speech] [Admonishment/feedback]
Story: An Abhayagiri monk skillfully conveys concerns to his father. [Right Speech] [Abhayagiri]
7. “Given the situation in Burma with Buddhist monks fomenting violence against Muslims, how do you determine whether to respond to that vocally or publically?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [History/Other Theravāda traditions] [Conflict] [Politics and society] [Monastic life] [Islam] [Right Speech] [Media] // [Military]
8. “Can we talk at breakfast please?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Right Speech] [Meditation retreats]
5. “You said you have to adjust and think about contemplating. But how can you do that in your working time?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Right Effort] [Directed thought and evaluation] [Discernment] [Everyday life] // [Mindfulness] [Clear comprehension] [Happiness] [Recollection]
Quote: “In daily life, in contact with the world, do you still breathe?” — Ajahn Chah. [Ajahn Chah] [Mindfulness of breathing]
Follow-up: “In Bangkok, there is lots of news that makes people crazy and divisive. When you see this news, you feel upset and angry.” [News ] [Conflict] [Aversion] [Right Speech] [Politics and society] [Proliferation]
Quote: “I don’t care. Not in the sense that I don’t think it’s serious or that it’s not a problem. But I don’t care in the sense that I don’t want to be getting involved in whatever side people are working themselves up about, because the problem is much deeper than that. We have to pay attention to the deeper problem, both in the human condition and politically.” [Human]
8. “Isn’t there a story about when Ajahn Chah wanted to give feedback to a senior monk and he waited 20 or 30 years?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Ajahn Chah] [Admonishment/feedback] [Right Speech] // [Ajahn Baen] [Vinaya] [Protocols] [Cleanliness]
7. Comment by Jeanne Daskais: The reflection on kamma has helped me watch this person [my stepmother] disappear through the course of Alzheimer’s disease and other loss. [Kamma] [Sickness] [Grief] [Death] // [Recollection/Virtue] [Compassion] [Right Speech]
1. “A question regarding the 5 precepts. In daily life, I am really good about keeping #1, 2, 3 and 5; but somehow I found that the precept #4 is really hard. I find myself lying everyday such as: ‘Do I look good?’ → Yes, of course. ‘Do you want to eat some more?’ → No, thanks, I’m full (but in fact the food didn’t taste good). Or speaking at a wrong time, speaking too long, too short, too harsh or speaking with a wrong tone of voice. This is the hardest one for me. Kindly advise. Thank you.” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Five Precepts] [False speech ] [Right Speech ] // [Monastic life] [Precepts ] [Pāli] [Learning]
Quote: “The function of the precepts in terms of practice is to provide a mirror so we can understand our own intentions and volitions.” [Volition]
15. “Can you say more about how living up to cultural expectations can be skillful?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Conscience and prudence] [Skillful qualities] [Buddhist identity] // [Killing] [Sense restraint] [Clear comprehension] [Compassion] [Malicious speech] [Right Speech]
11. “Do you have any tips for embodying the Dhamma in business situations when negotiating with aggressive individuals? I tend to walk away at a certain point, but am wondering if there’s another way to turn it around, make it better for everyone?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Dhamma] [Work] [Right Speech] // [Goodwill] [Trust] [Clear comprehension] [Truth]
13. “When you’re living on the precepts, how do I relate to (for example) a friend who tells me about an affair they are having?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno and Ajahn Jotipālo. [Precepts] [Spiritual friendship] [Sexual misconduct] // [Skillful qualities] [Admonishment/feedback] [Discernment] [Right Speech] [Vinaya] [Abhayagiri]
Quote: “Don’t admonish your fellow monks before the meal.” — Ajahn Chah. Quoted by Ajahn Pasanno. [Ajahn Chah] [Monastic life] [Food] [Eating after noon]
14. “When talking with friends, sometimes the topic of faith and religion comes up. Normally, I find this topic pleasant and enjoyable, but on occasion, I find myself in conversation with somebody who believes (often quite insistently) that their faith is “the only way”. Do you have an advice on how I might skillfully navigate these situations?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Faith] [Right Speech] [Spiritual traditions]
16. “During the Christmas holiday, I’m going to be spending some time with relatives who do not share my same political views. In the spirit of wanting to understand their views and wanting to heal the divide that exists in our country, I want to talk about the election with them. How do I have this conversation skillfully?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Family] [Politics and society ] [Right Speech ] // [Judgementalism] [Listening] [Human] [Sense restraint]
15. “How do I deal with a negative person? His/her perspectives are mostly in the way of downsides, pointing out people’s faults, his/her bad experiences, etc. If that person is a life partner or family member, how to turn him/her to become better?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Aversion] [Family] // [Right Speech] [Patience]
17. “Have you broken any precepts where only you know if you broke them?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Vinaya] [Ajahn Pasanno] // [Right Speech]
Story: Ajahn Pasanno’s uncle offers him alchohol. [Intoxicants] [Truth]
27. “What do you think of our president right now?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Politics and society] // [Right Speech]
6. “Is there a place to point out others’ difficulties [in the practice]?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Admonishment/feedback] [Right Speech] [Community] [Monastic life] [Saṅgha] // [Ajahn Chah] [Teaching Dhamma]
12. “What can you offer dying people who didn’t have the opportunity to engage in Buddhist practice?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Death] [Compassion] // [Listening] [Patience] [Tranquility] [Equanimity] [Fear] [Right Speech] [Chanting]
13. “The fourth precept used to be translated as false and harmful speech. In the new chanting book, it’s just lying. Is there a reason for this?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [False speech] [Pāli] [Chanting] // [Right Speech]
Reference: Amaravati Chanting Book, p. 130
Sutta: MN 41: Saleyyaka Sutta
6. Comment: I’m concerned about how much time people spend on computers, and I think it’s sad that people use electronic devices rather than talk with each other. [Technology] [Community]
Response by Ajahn Pasanno.
Follow-up: “Should I say anything to my son who is on his device half the time during his brief, infrequent visits?” [Children] [Right Speech]
Story: Abhayagiri’s computer policy for monks. [Abhayagiri] [Social media] [Sense restraint] [Vinaya]
7. “In what way are qualities and effects viral? Are right perception, right speech, right thought, and right action also viral?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Media] [Online community] [Perception] [Right View] [Right Speech] [Right Action] // [Abhayagiri] [History/Western Buddhism] [Mindfulness] [Skillful qualities] [Happiness] [Tranquility] [Trust] [Human]
8. “How do you deal with anger?” Answered by Ajahn Karuṇadhammo. [Aversion ] // [Sense restraint] [Right Speech] [Mindfulness of body] [Proliferation] [Spaciousness] [Patience] [Goodwill]
5. “When someone shows you how to do something correctly but the manner in which they convey the message is rude, what is the most skillful thing you can do to let the person know they were perceived as rude but fully absorb the content of their beneficial message?” Answered by Ajahn Ñāṇiko. [Admonishment/feedback] [Right Speech] // [Cultural context] [Equanimity] [Nonviolent Communication]
8. “What duty do we have to parents who often act foolishly and use harmfull and abusive language?” Answered by Ajahn Ñāṇiko. [Parents] [Abuse/violence] // [Right Speech]
Story: Ajahn Ñāṇiko’s grandfather vows to treat his children with kindness. [Family] [Goodwill]
6. Reflection by Ajahn Karuṇadhammo: Lovingkindness in speech and the ethic of sharing circles at Abhayagiri. [Goodwill] [Right Speech] [Abhayagiri] [Sharing circles] [Communal harmony] // [Principles of Cordiality] [Ajahn Sudanto] [Listening] [Nonviolent Communication] [Conflict]
Sutta: MN 48: Kosambi Sutta.
13. “I have loaned something to my brother, and he just won’t give it back to me no matter how many times I ask him. How would you approach this situation?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Family] [Virtue] // [Right Speech] [Clear comprehension]
5. “How does one practice wise restraint in lay life when one has to deal with family, friends, coworkers, and so on? Especially on the level of speech and emotions that one encounters.” Answered by Ajahn Karuṇadhammo. [Sense restraint] [Lay life] [Right Speech] [Emotion] // [Discernment] [Unwholesome Roots] [Appropriate attention] [Continuity of mindfulness] [Mindfulness of body] [Clear comprehension]
Vinaya: Conditions for skillful admonishment in the Buddhist Monastic Code’s discussion of Bhikkhu Saṇghādisesa 8. [Admonishment/feedback] [Right Speech]