Spiritual friendship (kalyāṇa-mittatā)
Spiritual friendship (kalyāṇa-mittatā)
6. “For most of the time on this retreat, I’ve tried to work with a persistent problem from a variety of angles, but as I work with it it seems to get worse; it seems obsessional. Any suggestions?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Meditation retreats] [Everyday life] [Goodwill] [Proliferation] // [Volitional formations] [Habits] [Spiritual friendship] [Patience]
4. “Can the practice be used in a punitative or punishing way?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Guilt/shame/inadequacy] // [Culture/West] [Habits] [Clear comprehension] [Craving not to become]
Quote: “Having a human mind...it’s amazing how perverse it can be sometimes.” [Human] [Unwholesome Roots]
Story: Ajahn Pasanno can’t translate guilt into Thai. [Ajahn Pasanno] [Translation] [Culture/Thailand] [Suffering]
Quote: “All you need to do is create a cage of mindfulness around [unskillful habits].” — Ajahn Chah [Ajahn Chah] [Sense restraint] [Mindfulness] [Unskillful qualities] [Similes]
Follow-up: “What about letting the tiger go instead of keeping it in a cage?”
Follow-up: “What about the case when one feels one is the tiger trapped in a metaphorical cage. How to escape?” [Liberation] [Perception] [Self-identity view] [Spiritual friendship]
3. “Can you give some suggestions on dealing with betrayal in relationships?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Relationships] [Sexual misconduct] [Trust] // [Spiritual friendship] [Faith] [Virtue] [Generosity] [Discernment] [Judgementalism] [Monastic life]
Sutta: Amaravati Chanting Book, p. 46: The Highest Blessings (Mangala Sutta, SN 2.4)
13. “Is that where when one isn’t meditating per se but where virtue would come in to inform whether we have slipped or not?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Virtue] // [Upasikā Kee Nanayon] [Ajahn Chah] [Conscience and prudence] [Similes] [Spiritual friendship]
Quote: “The defilements have their wisdom also.” — Ajahn Chah [Unwholesome Roots] [Discernment] [Delusion]
3. “If you keep chipping away at a theme of contemplation, you keep doing it, doing it, and nothing is changing in your experience, at some stage you feel this isn’t working, do you just have to move on and try something else? Is it the case that you just have to try them all? No-one can tell you which is going to work for you?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Depression] [Recollection] // [Patience] [Spiritual friendship]
Story: Ajahn Wanchai has a spinal injury and is in chronic pain but doesn’t refer to himself. Told by Ajahn Pasanno and Ajahn Ñāṇiko. [Ajahn Wanchai] [Suffering] [Sickness] [Pain] [Conceit]
4. Comment: The story you told where a monk was punched, I really didn’t see the point of that. [Ajahn Jia] [Admonishment/feedback] [Fierce/direct teaching]
Response by Ajahn Pasanno and Ajahn Cunda: Enlightened people still have personalities. [Cleanliness] [Liberation] [Personality] [Ajahn Tate] [Spiritual friendship] [Vinaya]
Quote: “Gold wrapped in a dirty rag.” — Ajahn Mahā Boowa describing Ajahn Jia. [Ajahn Mahā Boowa] [Similes]
Recollection: Ajahn Chah was always the center of attention. [Ajahn Chah] [Personal presence]
Story: Some monks go to spend Vassa with Ajahn Jia, but he leaves to take care of his teacher. Told by Ajahn Cunda. [Rains retreat] [Ajahn Khao]
15. “Living in the West, chances are most of us will die in a hospital, which could be quite chaotic. Any advice?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Culture/West] [Health care] [Death] // [Spiritual friendship] [Community] [Saṅgha]
Story: The Abhayagiri community attends to a dying lay supporter. [Abhayagiri]
Comments about hospitals contributed by Ajahn Karuṇadhammo.
10. “Any advice for cures for burnout? I’m in a helping profession and feel depleted and exhausted. I need help getting the balance between giving and receiving.” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Depression] [Work] [Health] [Generosity] [Compassion] // [Culture/West] [Idealism] [Commentaries] [Selfishness]
Quote: “Compassion in the English language means ‘to suffer with.’ If you end up suffering with too much, you end up burnt out.” [Language] [Suffering]
Quote: “Don’t think you’re a ten-wheeled dump truck when all you are is a wheelbarrow.” — Ajahn Chah [Ajahn Chah]
Commentary: Path of Purification by Bhikkhu Ñāṇamoli, p. 291: Classical cultivation of goodwill and compassion, first to yourself. [Goodwill]
Quote: “Our ability to be with others and to help and to give is dependent on our being kind and compassionate to ourselves.” [Spiritual friendship] [Self-reliance]
14. “I keep mostly to myself, but morality and ethics affects the jist of my involvement in society. What should I be doing further to address social suffering?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Virtue] [Community] [Suffering] [Right Effort] [Politics and society] // [Spiritual friendship] [Goodwill]
14. “Even reading scripturally-oriented material can be used as an escape; it’s easier than meditating. I was wondering about the precept on entertainment, beautification and adornment. Can you give some advice on how to interpret this in practical terms?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Learning] [Craving not to become] [Entertainment and adornment] // [Idealism] [Discernment] [Idle chatter] [Spiritual friendship] [Faith] [Media] [Ajahn Soṇa] [Abhayagiri] [Dhamma online] [Ajahn Pasanno]
3. “Did vibhavatanha arise in any of the monks at the loss of the Buddha? How do we notice vibhavatanha in practice, and what is a wise and compassionate response?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Craving not to become] [Death] [Grief] [Sutta] [Buddha/Biography] // [Stream entry] [Stages of awakening] [Recollection/Dhamma] [Three Refuges] [Precepts] [Spiritual friendship] [Devotional practice] [Suffering]
Sutta: DN 16: Mahāparinibbāna Sutta [Nibbāna]
Story: The funeral of a close Wat Pah Nanachat supporter. [Funerals] [Wat Pah Nanachat]
14. “Have you ever suffered from some sort of addiction and how did you recover from it? What would be your advice for someone suffering from an addiction?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Ajahn Pasanno] [Addiction] [Suffering] // [Sensual desire] [Self-identity view] [Spiritual friendship] [Three Refuges] [Happiness] [Appropriate attention]
4. “You spoke about the teachings and the training. What is the training for a lay practitioner other than the Five Precepts?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno and Ajahn Amaro. [Dhamma] [Vinaya] [Lay life] [Five Precepts] // [Meditation] [Communal harmony] [Right Livelihood] [Family] [Work] [Politics and society] [Spiritual friendship]
1. Comment: I listen to the talks and read the books, and everything is so logical and rational, but I’m still stuck in habitual patterns of living. [Hearing the true Dhamma] [Dhamma books] [Everyday life] [Habits]
Response by Ajahn Pasanno. [Association with people of integrity] [Community] [Monasteries] [Lunar observance days] [Online community] [Chanting] [Spiritual friendship] [Impermanence] [Monastic life/Motivation] [Generosity]
Quote: “When you’re living with a group of people, not everybody is depressed and lazy and fed up at the same time.” [Unwholesome Roots]
Sutta: SN 55.5 Sāriputta [Factors for stream entry]
5. “I feel that a lot of people are disconnected with the reality world. They don’t have a place of social, and they withdraw themselves and go on the internet. So I think the fundamental problem is people [audio unclear] in this real world. Do you have any comments on how to connect people in the real world so there can be a replacement of social media?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Community] [Social media] [Internet] // [Dhamma online] [Pandemic] [Online community] [Abhayagiri] [Lunar observance days]
Sutta: SN 55.5: Spiritual friendship as a condition for Right View. [Spiritual friendship] [Right View] [Conditionality] [Appropriate attention]