Part of tag cluster Family in key topic Everyday Life Practice
27 excerpts, 2:46:35 total duration
“Would you explain the duties adult children have towards ageing parents and the duties of parents towards their children as taught by the Buddha?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Family] [Parents ] [Ageing] [Children ] // [Health care] [Culture/Asia]
Sutta: AN 2.33: The greatest gifts to one’s parents. [Virtue] [Generosity] [Right View]
Metta Retreat (2008), Session 5, Excerpt 2
“What qualifies as helping a parent make progress on the path?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Parents ] [Gratitude] [Eightfold Path] // [Learning] [Happiness] [Contentment] [Teaching Dhamma]
8. Reading from the draft biography: Ajahn Chah’s dying father asks him to remain in robes for life. Read by Ajahn Amaro. [Sickness] [Recollection/Death] [Parents] [Monastic life] [Ajahn Chah] [Determination] // [Learning] [Culture/Thailand] [Unattractiveness] [Forest versus city monks] [Sutta] [Spiritual urgency]
Quote: “I dedicate my body and mind, my whole life, to the practice of the Lord Buddha’s teachings in their entirety. I will realize the truth in this lifetime … I will let go of everything and follow the teachings. No matter how much suffering and difficulty I have to endure I will persevere, otherwise there will be no end to my doubts. I will make this life as even and continuous as a single day and night. I will abandon attachments to mind and body and follow the Buddha’s teachings until I know their truth for myself.” — Ajahn Chah. [Buddha] [Dhamma] [Practicing in accordance with Dhamma] [Knowledge and vision] [Truth] [Relinquishment] [Suffering]
Reflection: Stillness Flowing by Ajahn Jayasaro, p. 40 [Energy] [Doubt] [Continuity of mindfulness]
3. Story: Kittisaro’s parents visit Wat Pah Pong. Told by Kittisaro. [Kittisaro] [Parents] [Wat Pah Pong] [Ajahn Chah] // [Culture/West] [Learning] [Monastic life] [Renunciation] [Fear] [Cults] [Children] [Ordination] [Compassion]
Quote: “Wanting your parents to understand is suffering.” — Ajahn Sumedho. [Ajahn Sumedho] [Family] [Suffering]
Quote: “The Communists you really need to be concerned about, the ones who can really hurt you, are the ones who hide inside your own heart.” — Ajahn Chah. [Politics and society] [Unwholesome Roots]
2. “Would you explain the duties adult children have towards ageing parents and the duties of parents towards their children as taught by the Buddha?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Family] [Parents ] [Ageing] [Children ] // [Health care] [Culture/Asia]
Sutta: AN 2.33: The greatest gifts to one’s parents. [Virtue] [Generosity] [Right View]
10. Reading from the draft biography: Ajahn Chah accepts his dying father’s request to stay as a monk for life. Read by Ajahn Pasanno. [Parents] [Monastic life/Motivation] [Sickness] [Death] [Ajahn Chah ] [Determination] // [Mindfulness of body] [Spiritual urgency] [Saṃsāra]
Reference: Stillness Flowing by Ajahn Jayasaro, p. 40
Quote: “I dedicate my body and mind, my whole life, to the practice of the Lord Buddha’s teachings in their entirety. I will realize the truth in this lifetime … I will let go of everything and follow the teachings. No matter how much suffering and difficulty I have to endure I will persevere, otherwise there will be no end to my doubts. I will make this life as even and continuous as a single day and night. I will abandon attachments to mind and body and follow the Buddha’s teachings until I know their truth for myself.” — Ajahn Chah. [Ardency] [Patience] [Doubt] [Continuity of mindfulness] [Relinquishment] [Knowledge and vision]
Reference: Stillness Flowing by Ajahn Jayasaro, p. 42
The singular quality of Ajahn Chah’s resolution. Reflection by Ajahn Pasanno.
10. “So they do temporary ordinations in Thailand?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Culture/Thailand] [Temporary ordination] [Novices]
Follow-up: “What would be the duration, was there a range?” [Wat Pah Pong] [Ajahn Chah]
Story: Ajahn Chah ordains 80 temporary monks for his mother’s funeral. [Parents] [Death] [Funerals]
Follow-up: “Did they come in as anāgārikas or sāmaṇeras?” [Sequence of training] [Postulants]
Story: Ajahn Chah takes on temporary ordinations for three years.
4. Reflection by Jeanne Daskais: How Dhamma practice helped me be with my mother’s death and support my family through the process. [Parents] [Sickness] [Buddhist identity] [Family] [Death] // [Grief] [Christianity] [Health care] [Relationships] [Recollection/Death] [Generosity]
Sutta: SN 47.19: The Bamboo Acrobat
5. Reflection by Debbie Stamp: Caring for dying and grieving Abhayagiri supporters and family members. [Abhayagiri] [Sickness] [Family] [Parents] [Death] [Grief] [Health care] // [Ajahn Pasanno] [Ajahn Karuṇadhammo] [Christianity] [Forgiveness] [Fear] [Impermanence] [Merit] [Doubt]
Reference: Debbie transcribed Ajahn Pasanno’s 2008 Metta Retreat, published it as Abundant, Exalted, Immeasurable, and dedicated the merit to her mother. [Meditation retreats] [Dhamma books] [Parents]
Story: Ajahn Ñāṇiko hikes to the top of Mount Dana to dedicate merit to deceased relatives. [Ajahn Ñāṇiko]
9. Stories about being with dying relatives. Told by Debbie Stamp and Jeanne Daskais. [Parents] [Family] [Children] [Death]
8. “I know parting with loved ones is a natural course of life, but deep sadness and grief arises when I reflect on that. Could you instruct on how to work with this grief? Is there a level of understanding when there is no grief? Thank you!” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Grief ] [Naturalness] // [Recollection] [Recollection/Death] [Impermanence] [Kamma] [Goodwill]
Sutta: AN 5.57 Five Recollections (Chanting Book translation)
Suttas: SN 47.13, SN 47.14: The deaths of Sariputta and Moggallana. [Buddha/Biography] [Great disciples] [Death]
Quote: “Now I’m an orphan.” — Ajahn Chah. [Ajahn Chah] [Parents] [Wat Pah Pong] [Mae Chee]
19. “I would like to invite my aging mother to live with my family. Our family observes the precept of no-killing. However, my mother is not vegetarian. My spouse insists that everyone in the house must uphold the precept. I think it’s unfair to impose that on my aging mother. Is my spouse holding onto fixed views? I very much would like to honor my filial duty and at the same time maintain harmony in the family. As a practitioner, what is the best way to handle this situation? Thank you, Ajahn, for your time and advice.” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Parents] [Family] [Vegetarianism] [Communal harmony]
5. “The guidance through seeing the non-self in relationship to the elements was very helpful. Can you explain what to look for in order to see the non self in relationship to strong emotions like grief. When do you look for the emptiness in emotions and when do you experience or express them. How does one balance the two?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Not-self] [Elements] [Emotion ] [Grief ]
Ajahn Pasanno reflects on his feelings after Ajahn Chah died. [Ajahn Pasanno] [Ajahn Chah] [Death] [Sickness] [Gratitude] [Respect]
Ajahn Pasanno’s response to his father’s death. [Parents] [Spaciousness]
15. “There is a mean streak in my family, a tendency to be dishonest and manipulative. I can see how it has been passed down over generations. I have worked hard to overcome these habits in myself. At this stage of life my familiar relationships are mostly positive and harmonious, but I still sometimes run across their manipulation or dishonesty. I would like to discuss or address it within my family, but there is no apperent recouse or means of addressing the situation. Any suggestions?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Family] [False speech] [Habits]
Quote: “I don’t teach my family anything.” [Ajahn Pasanno] [Teaching Dhamma]
Story: Ajahn Pasanno’s mother visits Abhayagiri. [Parents] [Kaṭhina]
4. “In the West, we personalize every bit of suffering. Is it different in Thailand?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno and Ajahn Karuṇadhammo. [Culture/West ] [Suffering] [Self-identity view] [Culture/Thailand] // [Language] [Liberation]
Story: Ajahn Pasanno can’t translate guilt into Thai. Told by Ajahn Pasanno. [Ajahn Pasanno] [Guilt/shame/inadequacy] [Thai] [Translation]
Quote: “That’s really suffering. Tell them not to do that.” — Ajahn Paññānanda. [Ajahn Paññānanda]
Reference: Can’t We Talk about Something More Pleasant? by Roz Chast (commercial). [Ageing] [Sickness] [Parents] [Health care]
1. “My dearest parents -in-law - very ill, 82-84 years old, live in Europe. My dear husband loves his mother very much. He said if his mother passes away, he doesn’t want to be in the funeral. I don’t think it is a good idea. How can I help him and myself in the way of Buddha mind? I am afraid my husband will break down.” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Parents] [Family] [Grief] [Funerals]
10. “Does having no craving mean doing things in the world knowing they won’t bring lasting satisfaction? For example, planning a vacation realizing that it will eventually end or taking measures to cure a headache without expecting to feel completely better. I am trying to understand how this would look like in real life without one becoming apathetic and depressed about the meaninglessness of basically all activities except meditation. How to balance the ability to still enjoy life with abandoning all craving?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Craving] [Characteristics of existence] [Depression] [Happiness] // [Cause of Suffering] [Desire] [Generosity]
Story: Ajahn Pasanno is planning to take his mother to Hawaii. “And I think I’ll enjoy it too!” [Ajahn Pasanno] [Parents] [Travel]
1. “How do you deal with attachment to relationships? My dad has cancer and may possibly not be here next year.” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Clinging] [Family] // [Parents] [Birth] [Impermanence] [Gratitude]
2. Reading: Stillness Flowing by Ajahn Jayasaro, p. 40-41: Ajahn Chah’s father’s dying request Read by Ajahn Pasanno. [Parents] [Death] [Monastic life/Motivation] [Ajahn Chah] // [Culture/Thailand] [Meditation]
3. Reflection by Ajahn Pasanno: Establishing relations with family and friends in Dhamma. [Family] [Spiritual friendship] [Dhamma] [Ajahn Chah]
Recollection: Ajahn Chah would sometimes allow Westerners to ordain without their parent’s permission. [Ordination] [Parents] [History/Western Buddhist monasticism]
15. “What qualifies as helping a parent make progress on the path?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Parents ] [Gratitude] [Eightfold Path] // [Learning] [Happiness] [Contentment] [Teaching Dhamma]
13. “I live with my 96-year old mother. Her mind is quite good, but her body is ageing and there is pain in both legs. She has a stubborn will to carry on. We have our fights, but get through them quickly. I’m wanting to go to another level to develop patience. Can you comment?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Ageing] [Parents] [Pain] [Patience] // [Empathetic joy] [Ajahn Pasanno] [Relinquishment] [Gratitude] [Idealism]
Quote: “Even monks have mothers.” [Parents]
1. Quote: “The kindest thing you can do for your parents is to not create them.” — Ajahn Sumedho. Quoted by Ajahn Pasanno. [Ajahn Sumedho] [Parents] [Goodwill] [Cessation] [Not-self] // [Amaravati] [Sīladharā] [Proliferation]
13. “How to balance the practice of removing attachments but maintain responsibilities of caregiving to children or ageing parents?” Answered by Ajahn Ñāṇiko. [Clinging] [Relinquishment] [Family] [Parents] [Ageing] // [Gratitude]
1. “How do you or other monks deal with grief associated with the passing away of loved ones, especially parents or caretakers who have been kind to you? Do you also experience ‘crying out in isolation’ to heal that grief?” Answered by Ajahn Ñāṇiko. [Grief] [Death] [Parents] // [Impermanence] [Merit] [Gratitude] [Recollection/Death]
8. “What duty do we have to parents who often act foolishly and use harmfull and abusive language?” Answered by Ajahn Ñāṇiko. [Parents] [Abuse/violence] // [Right Speech]
Story: Ajahn Ñāṇiko’s grandfather vows to treat his children with kindness. [Family] [Goodwill]
7. “I’m a mother to four kids, one of whom has special needs. I’m lucky if I can meditate 10-15 minutes a day. Are there practices one can do when one is frequently around little ones?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Children ] [Meditation/General advice] // [Posture/Sitting] [Three Refuges] [Precepts] [Recollection/Virtue] [Recollection/Generosity] [Gladdening the mind] [Mindfulness of body] [Clear comprehension]
Commentary: Path of Purification by Bhikkhu Ñāṇamoli, p. 104: Forty subjects of meditation.
Sri Lankan Buddhists keep a book of good deeds which is read near the time of death. [Culture/Sri Lanka] [Merit] [Death]
Story: Debbie Stamp served as primary caregiver to her father during the pandemic. [Parents] [Pandemic]
5. “I have had many losses over the year, and both my parents passed away six years ago. I found that taking refuge in the Buddha, Dhamma, and Saṅgha, keeping the precepts, and having daily meditation practice helps. There is peacefulness and gratitude. I have heard that if one wants to share merits with the deceased, one could. What is the proper way? Could you give some guidance?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Death] [Grief] [Parents] [Merit ] // [Recollection/Virtue] [Goodwill] [Translation] [Three Refuges] [Precepts] [Generosity] [Happiness]
Sutta: Iti 22: “Do not be afraid of puñña.”
Quote: “Puñña is accomplished through the heart itself.” [Heart/mind] [Cultural context]
Quote: “A spark of merit is worth more than a mountain of effort.” — Tibetan saying. [Vajrayāna] [Self-identity view]
3. “Have you ever regretted choosing the monastic life? Has your mother ever thought you made a wrong choice?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Ajahn Pasanno] [Monastic life/Motivation] [Doubt] [Parents] // [Gratitude] [Retirement] [Energy] [Mentoring] [Christianity] [Abhayagiri]
Reflections on leadership. [Leadership ] [Ajahn Chah] [Abbot] [Wat Pah Nanachat] [Discernment]
Quote: “You can’t lead just by telling people what to do and they are going to obey. Forget it!” [Leadership ]
Quote: “Everybody else is a mirror for oneself if one is willing to learn in teaching or leading others.” [Leadership ] [Learning]