Grief (domanassa)
Grief (domanassa)
4. Story: Thousands of people receive Ajahn Chah upon his return from England. Told by Ajahn Pasanno. [Gratitude] [Ajahn Chah] // [Almsround] [Lay life]
The sea of faith in Northeast Thailand. [Faith] [Culture/Thailand] [Poverty] [Culture/Natural environment] [Thai Forest Tradition] [Self-reliance] [Patience] [Teaching Dhamma] [Suffering]
In Central Thailand, lay people don’t come to the monastery on observance days. [Lunar observance days] [Ajahn Pasanno] [Tudong]
Story: A direct teaching to a man whose wife had died. [Fierce/direct teaching] [Death] [Grief]
6. Most people celebrate birth, but people should be crying. When people die, everyone grieves and sorrows, but they should be celebrating. Teaching of Ajahn Chah recollected by Joseph Kappel. [Birth] [Grief] [Death] [Happiness] [Ajahn Chah] // [Fierce/direct teaching]
7. Quote: “When I saw Luang Por Chah when he had his stroke, I felt an almost unbearable sense of grief and loss. Then I remembered, ‘This is the way it is.’” — Ajahn Sumedho [Sickness] [Grief] [Equanimity] [Ajahn Chah] [Ajahn Sumedho] // [Faith] [Aversion] [Relinquishment]
6. Comment: I find that the experience of uncertainty and loss can give rise to compassion. [Impermanence] [Grief] [Compassion]
Response by Ajahn Pasanno. [Right View] [Emotion] [Teaching Dhamma] [Ardency]
13. “Is there anything skillful about crying, the flow of tears?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Grief]
1. “I was struck by the simile of the stone being heavy, but you won’t know it’s heavy unless you pick it up, and it’s just like suffering. You don’t have to pick it up. I’m battling a loss in my life, and I’m suffering. I didn’t pick up the stone. It was flung at me. I’m not sure how to deal....” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Similes] [Ajahn Chah] [Suffering] [Grief] [Christianity] // [Human] [Naturalness] [Equanimity] [Self-identity view] [Goodwill] [Discernment]
Reference: Amaravati Chanting Book, p. 55: Five Recollections [Characteristics of existence] [Recollection/Death] [Kamma]
Quote: “Whenever you get into a fight with nature, you always lose.”
Quote: “What makes it heavy is the ‘me’ bit.”
19. “Is it possible to dedicate merit to our four-legged companions after they pass?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Animal] [Merit] [Grief] [Death] // [Generosity]
Sutta: AN 10.177: Jāṇussoṇī
4. Reflection by Jeanne Daskais: How Dhamma practice helped me be with my mother’s death and support my family through the process. [Parents] [Sickness] [Buddhist identity] [Family] [Death] // [Grief] [Christianity] [Health care] [Relationships] [Recollection/Death] [Generosity]
Sutta: SN 47.19: The Bamboo Acrobat
5. Reflection by Debbie Stamp: Caring for dying and grieving Abhayagiri supporters and family members. [Abhayagiri] [Sickness] [Family] [Parents] [Death] [Grief] [Health care] // [Ajahn Pasanno] [Christianity] [Forgiveness] [Fear] [Impermanence] [Merit] [Doubt]
Reference: Debbie transcribed Ajahn Pasanno’s 2008 Metta Retreat, published it as Abundant, Exalted, Immeasurable, and dedicated the merit to her mother. [Meditation retreats] [Dhamma books]
Story: Ajahn Ñāṇiko hikes to the top of Mount Dana to dedicate merit to deceased relatives. [Ajahn Ñāṇiko]
7. Comment by Jeanne Daskais: The reflection on kamma has helped me watch this person [my stepmother] disappear through the course of Alzheimer’s disease and other loss. [Kamma] [Sickness] [Grief] [Death] // [Recollection/Virtue] [Compassion] [Right Speech]
12. Comment: In Western culture, we’re not given enough space to be with death. [Culture/West] [Spaciousness] [Grief] [Death]
Story: Hospice workers took the body of my father-in-law away too quickly. [Health care] [Grief]
Story: When my husband died, we kept and washed the body. [Grief] [Ceremony/ritual]
Response by Debbie Stamp.
13. Stories about ageing and dying relatives. [Grief] [Humor] [Ageing] [Sickness] [Death]
8. “I know parting with loved ones is a natural course of life, but deep sadness and grief arises when I reflect on that. Could you instruct on how to work with this grief? Is there a level of understanding when there is no grief? Thank you!” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Grief]
5. “The guidance through seeing the non-self in relationship to the elements was very helpful. Can you explain what to look for in order to see the non self in relationship to strong emotions like grief. When do you look for the emptiness in emotions and when do you experience or express them. How does one balance the two?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Not-self] [Grief]
6. Comments by Abhayagiri Saṅgha about the nature of practice. [Forgiveness] [Similes] [Aversion] [Right Mindfulness]
Response by Ajahn Pasanno. [Habits] [Idealism] [Patience] [Ajahn Chah] [Goodwill] [Long-term practice]
Comment: Patience remind me of going through deep grief. Contributed by Beth Steff. [Grief]
7. “I volunteer in hospice and was in attendance for the passing of my parents. I notice vast differences in the way people experience their passage. What can we do, while still alive, to prepare for a peaceful and “wakeful” passing? Other than “being present,” is there anything that can be of benefit to others?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Death] [Grief]
15. “AN 5.38 says, ‘Not by sorrow can even the slightest good come.’ How does this work with the natural process of grieving?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Grief] [Skillful qualities] // [Cultural context] [Family] [Ajahn Chah] [Death] [Characteristics of existence]
16. “Part of the sense of loss and sorrow is the joys that have created attachment. How to approach this?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Grief] [Happiness] [Clinging] // [Naturalness] [Human] [Spaciousness]
Sutta: Thag 1062: Mahākassapa delights in nature. [Great disciples] [Culture/Natural environment]
1. “My dearest parents -in-law - very ill, 82-84 years old, live in Europe. My dear husband loves his mother very much. He said if his mother passes away, he doesn’t want to be in the funeral. I don’t think it is a good idea. How can I help him and myself in the way of Buddha mind? I am afraid my husband will break down.” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Parents] [Family] [Grief] [Funerals]
11. “Can you speak a bit about aversion and letting go? I’m dealing with the loss of my brother and the ending of a 15 year marriage. The painful memories are hard to process, and it is easier to push them away. I’d like to “know” and “let go” of them.” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Aversion] [Relinquishment] [Grief] [Relationships]
11. Comment about developing faith in the practice by watching energies move, change, and dissipate in the body. [Faith] [Mindfulness of body] // [Grief]
4. “I’m left with a deep sadness about the state of the world. I suppose that’s no different than struggling with sadness about the human condition?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Grief] [Suffering] [Human] [Politics and society] // [Compassion] [Depression] [Desire] [Right Effort] [Disenchantment] [Conventions]
6. Reading: Stillness Flowing by Ajahn Jayasaro, p. 646-647 “Por Buapah” [Ajahn Chah] // [Death] [Grief] [Personal presence]
Story: Por Buapah did the cement work for the original shine at Wat Pah Nanachat and the bell tower at Wat Pah Pong. [Stupas/monuments] [Wat Pah Nanachat] [Wat Pah Pong]
3. “The pandemic has given rise to feelings of profound grief and loss in many of us. How can we best work with these emotions to cultivate well-being for ourselves and others?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Pandemic] [Grief] [Emotion] [Happiness] [Community] // [Self-identity view] [Clinging] [Commerce/economics] [Perception]
4. “Apart from social distancing, what are other ways to behave compassionately during this time when there’s so much physical distance between us?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Pandemic] [Health] [Compassion] // [Generosity] [Online community] [Grief]
3. “Did vibhavatanha arise in any of the monks at the loss of the Buddha? How do we notice vibhavatanha in practice, and what is a wise and compassionate response?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Craving not to become] [Death] [Grief] [Sutta] [Buddha/Biography] // [Stream entry] [Stages of awakening] [Recollection/Dhamma] [Three Refuges] [Precepts] [Spiritual friendship] [Devotional practice] [Suffering]
Sutta: DN 16: Mahāparinibbāna Sutta [Nibbāna]
Story: The funeral of a close Wat Pah Nanachat supporter. [Funerals] [Grief] [Wat Pah Nanachat]