Tag cluster: Conceit and guilt
Part of key topic Unskillful Qualities
Includes tags: Conceit, Guilt/shame/inadequacy, Judgementalism, Perfectionism, Jealousy, Competitiveness, Selfishness, Self-pity

All excerpts (110) Most relevant (59) Questions about (33) Answers involving (52) Stories (18) Quotes (8) Texts (2)

Metta Retreat, Session 1 – Sep. 9, 2008

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4. “As a guilt-ridden American, how do you respond to personal mistakes without guilt?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Guilt/shame/inadequacy] [Culture/West] [Great disciples] // [Saṅgha] [Conscience and prudence] [Pāli] [Skillful qualities] [Self-identity view] [Respect] [Perception] [Virtue] [Buddha]

Story: A monk falsely accuses Sāriputta (AN 9.11). [Forgiveness]


Tudong Stories at Spirit Rock, Session 2 – Jun. 2, 2011

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4. “Can the practice be used in a punitative or punishing way?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Guilt/shame/inadequacy] // [Culture/West] [Habits] [Clear comprehension] [Craving not to become]

Quote: “Having a human mind...it’s amazing how perverse it can be sometimes.” [Human] [Unwholesome Roots]

Story: Ajahn Pasanno can’t translate guilt into Thai. [Ajahn Pasanno] [Guilt/shame/inadequacy] [Translation] [Culture/Thailand] [Suffering]

Quote: “All you need to do is create a cage of mindfulness around [unskillful habits].” — Ajahn Chah. [Ajahn Chah] [Sense restraint] [Mindfulness] [Unskillful qualities] [Similes]

Follow-up: “What about letting the tiger go instead of keeping it in a cage?”

Follow-up: “What about the case when one feels one is the tiger trapped in a metaphorical cage. How to escape?” [Liberation] [Perception] [Self-identity view] [Spiritual friendship]


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9. “I have an internal voice that’s concerned whether I’m doing it right; if I’m not doing it right, then I won’t get where I want to go. Is this delusion?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Eightfold Path] [Perfectionism] [Delusion] // [Suffering] [Fear] [Mindfulness of body] [Volitional formations]


Right Livelihood, Session 1 – Apr. 21, 2013

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19. Comment by Ajahn Yatiko: Right Livelihood isn’t about judging other people’s livelihood. [Judgementalism] [Right Livelihood]

Response by Ajahn Pasanno. [Eightfold Path] [Pāli] [Cessation of Suffering] [Happiness]


Abhayagiri Monastic Retreat 2013, Session 2 – Nov. 24, 2013

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9. “In letting go of thoughts that habitually arise from negative self-criticism or from past trauma defenses, how do we ask these powerful mental states to not overwhelm our mindfulness?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Guilt/shame/inadequacy] [Mindfulness]


Abhayagiri Monastic Retreat 2013, Session 3 – Nov. 25, 2013

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6. “Can you please give perspective on thoughts/feelings of inadequacy and comparison to others?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Guilt/shame/inadequacy]


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12. “Some monks have told me I’m selfish for being so focused on release. They say I should help others more. What are your thoughts?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Release] [Selfishness] [Generosity]


2014 Thanksgiving Monastic Retreat, Session 1 – Nov. 22, 2014

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4. “Thank you for your talk on mindfulness today—very helpful. I’ve been practicing for a long time (and have even had a few insights that made big impressions on me) and while my sila has definitely improved, my mindfulness is a priority and I might have a tad more wisdom, my mind looks for ways to suffer. Sometimes I feel like a total failure as a Buddhist. I understand that letting go of identity view is the answer, but how? What am I missing?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Long-term practice] [Suffering] [Perfectionism] [Self-identity view] // [Aggregates] [Relinquishment] [Drawbacks] [Gladdening the mind]

Sutta: SN 22.22: The Burden (Chanting Book translation)


2014 Thanksgiving Monastic Retreat, Session 3 – Nov. 24, 2014

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7. “Thank you for these wonderful teachings. I understand that ‘citta’ is both the heart and mind but my felt experience is often so different. My mind is often crabby and critical and down right mean, at least to me, but my heart is soft and sweet and easily moved. In fact, my mind can make my heart cry! Please help with this dilemma. Much mettā.” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Nature of mind] [Heart/mind] [Judgementalism]


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17. “How does one work with ones own judgments that come up so often during the meditation practice? (They are mostly judgments of myself, for not getting there…)” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Judgementalism] [Guilt/shame/inadequacy]


2014 Thanksgiving Monastic Retreat, Session 5 – Nov. 26, 2014

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6. “It seems that suffering in the lives of many people, my own included, comes from feeling unworthy or unlovable. Would you have any thoughts on why so many people feel that way and what will help to let go of this feeling? Thank you!” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Guilt/shame/inadequacy] // [Culture/West] [Christianity] [Goodwill] [Competitiveness]


Abhayagiri 2015 Winter Retreat, Session 42 – Mar. 8, 2015

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3. “How do you respond to the cynical inner voice when you recollect your own virtue?” Answered by Ajahn Karuṇadhammo and Ajahn Ṭhitapañño. [Recollection/Virtue ] [Judgementalism] // [Ajahn Sucitto] [Habits] [Guilt/shame/inadequacy] [Culture/West] [Humor]


Desire or Aspiration, Session 2 – Jun. 14, 2015

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3. “A lot of my life has been based on guilt, punishment, achievement, feeling driven, and perfectionism. Recently I experienced the reverse of this. Perfectionism is mixed up with wholesome desire. Could you respond?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Guilt/shame/inadequacy] [Judgementalism] [Perfectionism] [Desire] [Contentment] // [Discernment] [Self-identity view] [Human]

Story: Ajahn Pasanno can’t translate the question ‘How do I work with guilt?’ into Thai. [Ajahn Paññānanda] [Ajahn Pasanno] [Guilt/shame/inadequacy] [Language] [Culture/West] [Culture/Thailand] [Suffering]


2015 Thanksgiving Monastic Retreat, Session 1 – Nov. 21, 2015

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9. “What is the best approach to deal with guilt?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Guilt/shame/inadequacy ] // [Culture/West] [Conscience and prudence] [Learning] [Faith] [Discernment] [Self-identity view] [Not-self] [Aggregates]

Sutta: MN 22.58: “Whatever is not yours, abandon it.”


2015 Thanksgiving Monastic Retreat, Session 6 – Nov. 26, 2015

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5. “Competitiveness feels so pervasive here in America. What are your thoughts for working with it or healing it?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Competitiveness ] [Culture/West] // [Suffering] [Self-identity view] [Relinquishment] [History/America] [Proliferation]

Reflection: The nine bases of conceit. [Conceit] [Competitiveness ]


2015 Thanksgiving Monastic Retreat, Session 7 – Nov. 27, 2015

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3. “Could you talk a bit about the kilesas? How to see them clearly and work with them skillfully without falling into discouragement and self-judgment?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Unwholesome Roots ] [Right Effort] [Guilt/shame/inadequacy] // [Mindfulness] [Discernment] [Recollection/Virtue] [Perception]


2015 Thanksgiving Monastic Retreat, Session 8 – Nov. 28, 2015

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18. “I often feel overwhelmed with the greed, hatred, ill-will, and delusion that the corporate world exerts over the masses to the benefit of only themselves and that is destroying the planet’s ability to renew itself. Could you speak about Buddhist involvement in social change movements?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Politics and society] [Activism] [Unwholesome Roots] [Commerce/economics] [Selfishness] [Environment] // [Truth] [Ajahn Pasanno] [Non-profit organizations]

Ajahn Pasanno reflects on the results of his efforts to preserve forests in Thailand. [Geography/Thailand] [Learning] [Greed] [Corruption]

Quote: “Can I set an example myself and can I help encourage other people who are interested?”


Suttas You've Never Heard Of, Session 2 – Jun. 25, 2016

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4. Comment: When I hear the word “shame,” it’s.a cousin of guilt. But in this context (AN 7.6), it seems more acceptable. [Treasures] [Guilt/shame/inadequacy] [Conscience and prudence]

Response by Ajahn Pasanno and Ajahn Karuṇadhammo. [Language] [Christianity]


Thanksgiving Retreat 2016, Session 3 – Nov. 21, 2016

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6. “Please talk about fixed views and the nine conceits.” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Views ] [Conceit ] // [Pāli] [Proliferation ] [Craving] [Self-identity view] [Cessation of Suffering] [Competitiveness] [Culture/West]

Teaching: The three papañcadhammas. [Conceit ]


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7. “Would you have some suggestions on working with shame? As an emotion, it feels very “sticky” and probably the hardest one for me to work with. It seems like it is deeply rooted in my mind (probably thanks to Christianity). Is it true that Thai people have an easier time with it than westerners? Is an antidote to shame self-compassion?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Guilt/shame/inadequacy ] [Culture/Thailand] [Culture/West] [Compassion] // [Goodwill] [Self-identity view] [Relinquishment]


Thanksgiving Retreat 2016, Session 6 – Nov. 24, 2016

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5. “I am tangled up in self-identification and conceit. What should I do to get myself out?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Self-identity view ] [Conceit] // [Suffering] [Discernment] [Relinquishment] [Clinging]


Two Kinds of Thought and the Removal of Distracting Thoughts, Session 2 – Jun. 4, 2017

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5. Comment: I’ve discovered on this path that we can change, but sometimes we can not change, and it’s just accepting ourselves better and being more at ease in our bodies. [Eightfold Path] [Judgementalism] [Tranquility]

Response by Ajahn Pasanno and Ajahn Karuṇadhammo.


Two Kinds of Thought and the Removal of Distracting Thoughts, Session 3 – Jun. 4, 2017

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9. Comment: It’s so hard not to identify with the contents of the mind, to not make it me and mine. Realizing how useless so many of my thoughts are helps. [Self-identity view] [Guilt/shame/inadequacy] [Suffering] [Disenchantment] [Directed thought and evaluation]

Response by Ajahn Pasanno. [Mindfulness] [Pāli]

Response by Ajahn Karuṇadhammo. [Guilt/shame/inadequacy] [Not-self] [Humility]


The Path of Practice, Session 1 – Jun. 15, 2019

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5. “Could you please address judgement and discernment?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Judgementalism] [Discernment ] // [Self-identity view] [Skillful qualities] [Four Noble Truths] [Culture/West] [Impermanence] [Conditionality]


The Path of Practice, Session 2 – Jun. 16, 2019

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9. “When strong feelings associated with conceit come, what to do?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Conceit] [Feeling] // [Noble Truth of Suffering] [Mindfulness of feeling] [Clear comprehension] [Nutriment] [Relinquishment] [Patience]


Love, Attachment, and Friendship, Session 2 – Oct. 12, 2019

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1. Comment to Ajahn Ñāṇiko: I really appreciate the honest of your sharing. In terms of self-criticism over the years, what brought about any shift was being authentic, but whilst I wanted not to be critical, it was still there. By watching that process and not identifying with it so much, it gradually shifted until I was able to wish myself well more genuinely. [Truth] [Judgementalism] [Long-term practice] [Direct experience] [Not-self] [Goodwill] // [Buddhist identity] [Faith]

Response by Ajahn Ñāṇiko.


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4. “I thought to be self-critical was to improve yourself, to know how and where you need to improve yourself. How is being self-critical not good for yourself?” Answered by Ajahn Ñāṇiko. [Judgementalism] [Right Effort] // [Guilt/shame/inadequacy] [Energy] [Goodwill] [Idealism] [Unwholesome Roots]

Story: Eight months to Enlightenment. [Ajahn Ñāṇiko] [Abhayagiri] [Liberation]


Abhayagiri 25th Anniversary Retreat, Session 12 – Jun. 12, 2021

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10. “I am taken by the idea of volition. Can one enter volition without judgement?” Answered by Ajahn Karuṇadhammo. [Volition] [Judgementalism] // [Kamma] [Killing]


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11. “How to deal with self-blame due to losing a loved one to suicide?” Answered by Ajahn Karuṇadhammo. [Suicide] [Guilt/shame/inadequacy] // [Volition] [Proliferation] [Relinquishment] [Western psychology] [Forgiveness]

Quote: “People who commit suicide leave their skeletons in other people’s closets.” — Steven Levine.


Abhayagiri 25th Anniversary Retreat, Session 19 – Jun. 14, 2021

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1. “What can I do to stop judging?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Judgementalism] // [Suffering] [Relinquishment]


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5. “A sense of causeless joy permeates awareness, yet there remains a sense of me that experiences. How to dissolve that?” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Happiness] [Knowing itself] [Conceit] // [Noble Truth of Suffering] [Suffering] [Relinquishment]


Ānāpānasati Daylong at Abhayagiri, Session 4 – Sep. 9, 2023

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2. Comment: If I’m able to settle into ease and spaciousness this time, the next time I sit, it doesn’t settle as easily, and I get frustrated and tense wanting to get to that ease again. [Tranquility] [Meditation/General advice] [Restlessness and worry] [Desire] [Judgementalism]

Response by Ajahn Karuṇadhammo. [Mindfulness of body] [Present moment awareness]


Madison Insight Retreat 2023, Session 2 – Oct. 14, 2023

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19. “When one moves through the world with compassion and lovingkindness, how does one avoid feeling depleted? In a world of ‘individuals,’ most take more than they give and to always be giving can be exhausting.” Answered by Ajahn Pasanno. [Compassion] [Goodwill] [Selfishness] [Generosity] [Depression] // [Not-self] [Four Noble Truths] [Cause of Suffering]

Quote: “When we are attentive to freedom from suffering, there’s an inexhaustible well of goodness there.” [Cessation of Suffering] [Skillful qualities]