What Is the Appeal of Love?

What is the appeal of love?

In the initial stage, it is an effective antidote to boredom for those who find life stale, uninteresting, filled with only drudgery or emptiness or for those who feel lost with no purpose for living. Love can create excitement and meaning. Falling in love is intoxicating, a welcome agitation. Powerful emotional ups and downs—as if regularly falling into hell and then rising back into heaven—make lovers feel invigorated and alive.

Love has many other enticements. For couples living together, in addition to the ability to meet their sexual needs there is also the security of being the most important person in the world to the other person and a feeling of warmth and escape from loneliness. Having someone with whom we can be ourselves without pretension or concealment is a comfort in a busy, competitive and insincere world.

Being sure that no matter what happens our lover will not abandon us and will help us deal with our problems with empathy and sympathy, will encourage us when we are weary and in despair, will appreciate us genuinely, and will rejoice in our accomplishments—all these are certain causes of happiness. In addition, if our mate is capable, successful, and well-respected, we feel proud. Love has many charms.

Personal love wouldn’t be so popular if it didn’t have a lot going for it. But as one who has lived the past [~45] years as a celibate monk, I am probably not the most qualified to expand upon all of its joys; my readers will probably have to supply the points I’ve missed themselves.

But after considering the good things that love can provide, please apply it to your own heart too: when we have determined the benefits of love and what we receive or want to receive from love, we might ask ourselves how much we in turn have given these things to our loved ones, and try to improve or correct our failings.

This reflection by Ajahn Jayasaro is from the booklet, On Love, (pdf) pp. 11-13.