Letting Go of the Past

In our society, we are very much conditioned to believe that our memories are really ours.

We don’t generally remember the ordinary events of our lives, but we do remember the very good ones; we remember when we won a prize or had a wonderful romance. We also remember the bad things we have done or that have been done to us.

Grasping occurs either when we hold on and regurgitate all our memories or when we try to get rid of them; these are the two forms of grasping. It sounds paradoxical, but we are actually clinging to something when we try to get rid of it. The more we try to get rid of something, the more we’re actually clinging to it. That’s why these things haunt us, because we are actually clinging to them.

For example, suppose somebody has done something terrible to you and you are angry about it but decide not to think about it. Just try to put it out of your mind by willing yourself to not think about it. You succeed for maybe one second and then it suddenly comes exploding back. Your desire is to get rid of it, but that very desire is the clinging process taking place. So what you have to do is not try to will yourself to push the anger out of your mind; you have to accept the anger.

You’ll find a sense of peace and calm by accepting the pain that you have and letting go of it. The relief comes not by rejecting the pain, but by allowing it to be the way it is. Anything that you have to bear will eventually cease anyway, and its cessation is always a relief because you are allowing things to flow and move according to their own nature. You are in a harmonious realm.

The past is only a memory in the present moment, isn’t it? Right now, there is only now; wherever you are, it is now. Anything you can remember – what you’ve done, or what somebody else has done – are memories. They come and go in the mind, in the present moment. There is no past.

We believe that the past is real because we can remember it. However, I’m suggesting that you look at the past in a different way. Rather than look at it as ‘yours’ and as ‘reality’, look at it as it is, as something that arises and ceases in the present moment. That’s what is really happening.

The reality of the moment right now is that everything you remember from the past arises and ceases now. Memories don’t last very long if you don’t hang onto them. They just arise and cease.

This reflection by Luang Por Sumedho is from the book, Ajahn Sumedho Anthology, Volume 2—Seeds of Understanding, (pdf) pp. 240-241.